To God be the glory great things HE has done

     For all of you who are sick of hearing me blather on about my life, here's your break.  You longtime readers know the focus of this blog is to encourage those in distress. My heartfelt goal when I share is to show what God has done, for others and for myself. When he has done something powerful or surprising--or fun--in my life, I share it to remind you that he can and will do it in your life as well.
     Those who know me, know I'm coming out of a long, rough spell.  God is, perhaps, bringing many threads together that have been a lifetime in the weaving. If so, praise his Name!  If not, he has better things in mind, and he will faithfully, lovingly lead me to whatever he has in a different direction.  As he will do for you, dear friend. I am not saying this lightly.  Read those words again. Slowly.  I am deeply, intently serious.
     He will lead you to the best for you, in his time and in his way. That way may be perilous or filled with sadness, but he, our loving, mighty Lord God, will be there, with you every step you take.
      I say this because I know loss and peril.  I know what it is to feel a knife at my throat at midnight, and to wake up re-living it afterwards. I know what it is to have loved ones murdered, and to have to go into the crime scene to retrieve their important papers days afterwards before the killer's relatives go in to claim his belongings.
     I've learned that what makes recovery--and life-- possible: God's presence.  One step at a time may be all you can do, some days.  That's ok. Some days, standing still may be an effort.  God, the great I AM, only wants you to be present with him.
     Keep remembering:  I AM, not I WAS, nor I WILL BE.  (Look at that past blog if you like.) Let go of the past and stop fretting about the future. Stay present with I AM, and he will take care of the rest.  Then you can rest in him.
     For the glory and reputation of your Name, Lord, do what you will with my flimsy self. It's yours, anyway.
You know I'd rather be rejoicing in heaven with you, but as long as you want me here, use me to your matchless glory in the lives of others. Amen.
Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?'  Then what shall I tell them?"
God said to Moses, "I AM who I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation."

Exodus 3:13-15

He is with you

If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.

Psalm 139:9,10

Wouldn't you love to ride away on the wings of the morning sometimes? Riding on the wings of the morning sounds like a country-western song, but what a lovely picture it makes. Think of getting away from everyone and everything else for a little while, knowing that the God you love would still be guiding and supporting you with his faithful, strong hand.

My father's father had that experience in a literal geographic sense. He wrote about it in a series of letters while sitting on the edge of the Ngorongoro Crater in Africa:

"The sun was setting. It was as though we sat together on a ridge of a crater on the moon. To get to this cool spot, near the Equator, we drove hundreds of miles across dry, hot plains in Tanganyika, crossed the tip of the Serengeti Plains while giraffe, ostrich, and many members of the antelope family stared at our Land Rover, unafraid, as we passed. As the heat of the lowlands and of the sun dropped away, our spirits soared."

Then my grandfather wrote, as he sat in that farthest-off spot, how he remembered God's hand at work in his life: from childhood in San Francisco all the way to China with his parents; on to a ministry through his restaurant business in Los Angeles [see other blog post]; and finally, to visiting Albert Schweitzer in Africa. God had been a guiding presence wherever he went.

I've lived a much smaller life, less glamorous or noteworthy, with far lower mileage than my beloved grandfather. But my God is the same.  And he is the same for you.

No matter where you go, your God is always there, ahead of you, preparing a place for you, sustaining you.  Take a few moments and fly away. Know that he is with you.

Ration #1 from Crisis Survival Rations: God is with me

For those of you who are wondering what rations are, here is a sample, taken directly from my book Crisis Survival Rations, available from Amazon.com. You'll find a link on the left. I have distributed more than a 1000 copies of this book all over the world since 1996, mostly as gifts to friends or friends of friends  who have been suffering. I'd like to see it get into the hands of those ministering to hurting people, because so many have told me how much it gave them hope through their desperate times. Here is the first of the 52 in the book:

Now Jacob...went to a certain place and stayed there all night, because the sun had set. And he took one of the stones of that place and put it at his head, and he lay down in that place to sleep. Then he dreamed, and behold a ladder was set up on the earth and its top reached to heaven...And behold the Lord stood above it...Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it."   And he was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place!"

Genesis 28:10-13,16,17

That place was awesome, not because it offered any comfort or beauty, since Jacob had only a rock for a pillow. It was awesome because God was there.  God is here, with me in my place of suffering, persecution, and grief.  He will allow me to stay here exactly as long as I need to be here.  The pain here makes me want to rush away as quickly as my feet will carry me, but He is here, in this place.  Maybe, if I can remember that, I can stay long enough to grow, or heal, or learn what I need to be His person in that other place where I live in the easier times.

Almighty God, thank you that you never leave me on my own to endure suffering.  You are here, even when I do not know it. You are the same God, who was with Jacob, and every other believer before or since. You have not changed, and you do not change now. Thank you for your presence.  Help me not to miss anything you want to teach me today while I am here.

The power of presence

A week after my daughter's 13th birthday, I received the call no parent ever wants to receive: "Your daughter has a mass in her chest," the doctor said. We had to make an appointment for the following day with a pediatric oncologist.

The first fifty times you have the say the words, my daughter has a mass in her chest, you have to adjust to hearing your voice crack, and feeling a dull silence on the other side of the conversation.  Telling Marianne and her sisters without terrifying them any more than necessary was one more challenge to face in a few hours.

That afternoon, after calling the oncologist, I also called my friend Vicki.  Within minutes, Vicki was at my house, and for the next two hours, she sat with me.  Here I was in one of the lowest moments of my life, not knowing what was ahead for my child; how deeply powerful it was to have my friend's presence with me, simply being with me in her calm, loving way. She didn't need to say anything. She was God with skin on, in that room with me.

She cried with me, she held me in her arms, and she knew that sometimes pain can best be shared without platitudes or verses. Sometimes just sitting with someone is the most healing gift a person can give. 

God used Vicki in my life that day to come alongside me in my suffering, and let me know I was not alone.  He would always provide comfort. He always has.  

Many people hold back from reaching out to another person in pain because they don't know what to say or do. If they can tolerate just being in the same room with the pain, they may have the best gift to give with the eloquence of their presence, and no words at all.

Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. And no one said a word, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.

Job 2:13

P.S. The link to Marianne's blog is on the left: The Wall Bloggers.  The mass was on her thymus, which was biopsied extensively several months later in a major surgery that was a terrible ordeal for Marianne.  The mass turned out to be benign, praise God, but there were changes set into motion from it that left us all different. I'll leave her to tell her own stories. She is now a wife and mother, and a wonderful woman of God. I'm honored to be her mother.

Listening in when God speaks

In the last blog posting, I spoke about a wonderful elder statesman of God who changed my life at a teachable moment in my twenties. Over the years, I know I've worried much less than otherwise, as I remembered the wise words he shared from his lifetime of seeing God rescue him from every disaster he worried about--as well as the ones he didn't know were coming.

When I was writing, I'd been feeling wrung out for weeks, out of breath at the slightest exertion, nearly done in by going up and down the stairs, having pain in my chest (not ever a good sign), and trying to carry the full school load.  I finally decided it would be good to stop wondering what was making me feel so lousy and get help, only to find out I had both lungs riddled with bronchitis, which I probably had been battling for the last month.

Isn't that what we do with the Lord?  We drag along on our own, trying to fight our own battles, getting more and more beaten down, when there is someone who would be glad to help us, if we would just reach out for help?  As soon as I started antibiotics, sleep, breathing treatments with the bronchodilators, the wheezing started getting better, and I started feeling less wrung out, able to get back to the schedule, the battle.

That's when I started getting attacked spiritually.  The week before, during a bunch of tests at school, I knew I was struggling with my memory issues, and I asked friends and relatives for prayer to hold me up in a way that would glorify God.  God clearly helped by causing me to study the material that was going to be tested, and to retain it--a real gift, and even humorous in one case: when everyone else studied the formulas (which I couldn't begin to remember that week), the teacher asked about historical information, which is what I had focused on. For once, I had the highest score in the class.

As I was saying, this past week, I moved in with fear and let him walk all over me. I had a major crisis of confidence. It didn't help that I was vulnerable from illness. That's just an excuse. I realize as I write this that a crisis of confidence means that my confidence was in me. As long it had rested squarely in God I was fine.

Do you ever do that? 

When I let it wander over to myself is when I ran into trouble. My eyes were off the One who is my Rock and my Redeemer. He alone can be my strength.  Mine comes and goes whimsically.  His strength is as sure as the present tense of I AM.

You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this peril.

Psalm 31:3

I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from my fears.

Psalm 34:6

God's presence is with you NOW

When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:2

When my first child, Elizabeth Joy, died less than an hour after her birth, I was suddenly in the deepest water I'd experienced until that time. For better or worse, I've had to pass through other kinds of deep water in the 30-something years since. But as a naive young woman, I had no idea that premature labor could happen to me, or that a labor could end without a baby to take home from the hospital.

Nothing can prepare you for some kinds of pain, but God made me the same promise he makes YOU now, in your deep waters:

1. You will go through suffering as well as joy in your life--notice it says "When...";
2. He will be with you through every part of it; --and--
3. No matter how painful it is, the intensity will pass, and your life will get easier.

But you are only passing through the deep waters, and walking through the fire of oppression. You are not there forever. Take your hope in God's deliverance.

Life comes in stages. If it is wonderful, it will come to an end at some point. Sorry! To paraphrase Dr. Seuss: Don't grieve that when it's over; rejoice for as long as you have it. Celebrate and recognize the good times, but realize that they cannot last, until you reach heaven.

The good news is, if you're going through a tough stretch, it will also ease up in time. When tragedy ransacks your life, you will eventually come out again on the other side of it. You will be different, but you will be whole again. Not as soon as you'd like, but in God's timing and his most loving way.

Your current crisis will end. You will survive. God will remain with you. There is no Plan B. This is the plan, God's plan. No matter what everything around you looks like at this moment.

He will bring out strengths you never knew you had, and bless you in ways you could have never imagined. May his presence be more real to you now, today, than it ever has been. May his comfort and strength fill you with hope and courage for whatever this day holds.

You are not alone. The God who made you is with you, working to bring you through these deep waters.

When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

Isaiah 43:2