The first fifty times you have the say the words, my daughter has a mass in her chest, you have to adjust to hearing your voice crack, and feeling a dull silence on the other side of the conversation. Telling Marianne and her sisters without terrifying them any more than necessary was one more challenge to face in a few hours.
That afternoon, after calling the oncologist, I also called my friend Vicki. Within minutes, Vicki was at my house, and for the next two hours, she sat with me. Here I was in one of the lowest moments of my life, not knowing what was ahead for my child; how deeply powerful it was to have my friend's presence with me, simply being with me in her calm, loving way. She didn't need to say anything. She was God with skin on, in that room with me.
She cried with me, she held me in her arms, and she knew that sometimes pain can best be shared without platitudes or verses. Sometimes just sitting with someone is the most healing gift a person can give.
God used Vicki in my life that day to come alongside me in my suffering, and let me know I was not alone. He would always provide comfort. He always has.
Many people hold back from reaching out to another person in pain because they don't know what to say or do. If they can tolerate just being in the same room with the pain, they may have the best gift to give with the eloquence of their presence, and no words at all.
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. And no one said a word, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.
Job 2:13
P.S. The link to Marianne's blog is on the left: The Wall Bloggers. The mass was on her thymus, which was biopsied extensively several months later in a major surgery that was a terrible ordeal for Marianne. The mass turned out to be benign, praise God, but there were changes set into motion from it that left us all different. I'll leave her to tell her own stories. She is now a wife and mother, and a wonderful woman of God. I'm honored to be her mother.
Hi, J.E.
ReplyDeleteHere's a name of a chapter in J.E.'s next book: "Thank God for P.S's". The P.S. in Marianne's story changes much! And I, for one, was very glad to see it!
Just like 30 months ago when it was Larry who had a mass in his chest, golfball size, suspected cancer. My right upper lobe was taken out.
P.S. It turned out not to be cancer at all, but non-contagious MAC (mycobacterium avium complex), an infection people get from the environment.
Thank God for P.S.s, although I must sadly say that some of them don't work out as well as these two did. I know that sad P.S's have touched your family also.
I'm out of twitter for a while, but I'm still keeping up with your blog!
Peace, grace, and blessings to you.