Listening in when God speaks

In the last blog posting, I spoke about a wonderful elder statesman of God who changed my life at a teachable moment in my twenties. Over the years, I know I've worried much less than otherwise, as I remembered the wise words he shared from his lifetime of seeing God rescue him from every disaster he worried about--as well as the ones he didn't know were coming.

When I was writing, I'd been feeling wrung out for weeks, out of breath at the slightest exertion, nearly done in by going up and down the stairs, having pain in my chest (not ever a good sign), and trying to carry the full school load.  I finally decided it would be good to stop wondering what was making me feel so lousy and get help, only to find out I had both lungs riddled with bronchitis, which I probably had been battling for the last month.

Isn't that what we do with the Lord?  We drag along on our own, trying to fight our own battles, getting more and more beaten down, when there is someone who would be glad to help us, if we would just reach out for help?  As soon as I started antibiotics, sleep, breathing treatments with the bronchodilators, the wheezing started getting better, and I started feeling less wrung out, able to get back to the schedule, the battle.

That's when I started getting attacked spiritually.  The week before, during a bunch of tests at school, I knew I was struggling with my memory issues, and I asked friends and relatives for prayer to hold me up in a way that would glorify God.  God clearly helped by causing me to study the material that was going to be tested, and to retain it--a real gift, and even humorous in one case: when everyone else studied the formulas (which I couldn't begin to remember that week), the teacher asked about historical information, which is what I had focused on. For once, I had the highest score in the class.

As I was saying, this past week, I moved in with fear and let him walk all over me. I had a major crisis of confidence. It didn't help that I was vulnerable from illness. That's just an excuse. I realize as I write this that a crisis of confidence means that my confidence was in me. As long it had rested squarely in God I was fine.

Do you ever do that? 

When I let it wander over to myself is when I ran into trouble. My eyes were off the One who is my Rock and my Redeemer. He alone can be my strength.  Mine comes and goes whimsically.  His strength is as sure as the present tense of I AM.

You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this peril.

Psalm 31:3

I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from my fears.

Psalm 34:6

Deliverance from our fears

Being anxious can become a bad habit. Soon, it's like being stuck with a nasty roommate who owns the apartment. I once heard a wise old man talk about what God had taught him about worry and fears.

"Over the years," he said, "I've realized that the things I spent the most time worrying about hardly ever happened. The real catastrophes came without any warning at all. Looking back at the last 85 years, God gave me the strength to survive even the worst of them."

Then he said something profound. "What I have decided, at 85, is when I catch myself worrying about something, I say, 'Praise God!' Because it probably won't ever happen. And if it does happen, I've learned that God will carry me through it, as he has all those times before."

God had, indeed, set this dear old warrior free from all his fears.

How about you?  Can you take this man's example to heart, and catch yourself when you start to worry next time--shift gears, start to praise God, and see what unfolds? 

Test it for yourself: try keeping notes in your calendar about when you were worried or anxious about something, then gave praise to God. Check back in a month and see what actually transpired. You'll have a lot of disasters that were not worth fretting over, or raising your blood pressure.  You'll be able to thank the Lord for delivering you from all kinds of ways that things were not as bad as you thought they would be.

Don't wait till you are 85 to be set free from your fears. Who wants that kind of roommate?

I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from all my fears.

Psalm. 34:6

Guidance and deliverance, even on tough days

You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of the peril.

Psalm 31:3

Why would you need a fortress on those days when everything goes wrong? Well I certainly know that when family conflicts or money problems start squeezing on me, I sure feel unguarded and vulnerable. Don't you?

Doesn't that bubble of false security that lies to you, saying nothing bad could ever happen to you get stripped away? When it does, you're left with the truth: you're at the mercy of all the evils this world can throw at you. When you are under your own protection, that's the reality. Some days, doesn't it feel as if anything terrible could happen, and probably will?

While it's not going to help any of us to run away from our problems permanently, God does give himself to us as a hiding place when we need one, offering protection from the world's onslaughts, when we just cannot take them on our own.

During my divorce, when my life was crashing around my daughters and me, I made small, nurturing rituals for myself during the day to break up the intensity of the stress.  A morning prayer and Bible reading became a wonderful daily routine that spoke to my desperate heart like telephone calls from the most loving friend. I re-read passages before bedtime as a way of putting promises into my mind before I spent the night trying to get whatever sleep I could.

I tell you, I ran to that fortress and cherished every second I could be there in God's presence.

You may not see the larger forces at work in the world or your life right now, but our mighty God does. Look today for ways that he is leading you out of your dark places in a way that will bring glory to himself.  Keep looking for his promised deliverance, and it will give your hope as you are in the midst of your struggles.

In the mean time, focus your eyes on the One who can deliver you, and remember he is a Fortress and the Rock of Ages to hide behind when you need to run for cover. He will never fail you.

You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this peril.

Psalm 31:3

God listens for you

Years ago, I suspected that one of my toddler daughters couldn't hear me due to an ear infection. I thought of a way to test her hearing.

Me, quietly: "Catherine, do you want a cookie?"

Catherine: "What?"  She did, indeed, have an ear infection.

These days, there seems to be a rule that sound systems have to be blasting. I catch snatches of what people right next to me are saying as the music blares in our ears at restaurants or parties. If it weren't for smiling and meaningful glances, there would be no communication at all.

With a benign brain tumor beind my right ear affecting the auditory cortex, sound at a loud volume is jarring to me, and causes partial seizures, which is extremely unpleasant. I end up wearing ear plugs several times a week, including at church, where the sound technician considers loud music a way to enhance the worship experience. For other people, perhaps.

Thankfully, God's ears are never blocked toward you or me. His ears and eyes are leaning toward you and your challenges every day, every hour.  I marvel at how he manages to take in the specific cries of  the billions of people around the world, but somehow he does. He doesn't miss a single one of your words, and his eyes are watching over you with exquisite attention to your individual needs.

Catherine didn't even know she was not hearing me; it took careful attention, my looking at her and toward her needs to understand she had a problem. Just as she didn't realize that she needed to call for help, you may not.  You may have lost track of your needs in the pressures of you life.

But our Lord is looking toward your needs even better than I was watching over my beloved child. He is constantly ready to be strong for you, when you don't even recognize your own need. Rest in that knowledge; feel his care when you are worn out from caring for yourself or others.

The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help.

Psalm 34:15

God's presence is with you NOW

When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:2

When my first child, Elizabeth Joy, died less than an hour after her birth, I was suddenly in the deepest water I'd experienced until that time. For better or worse, I've had to pass through other kinds of deep water in the 30-something years since. But as a naive young woman, I had no idea that premature labor could happen to me, or that a labor could end without a baby to take home from the hospital.

Nothing can prepare you for some kinds of pain, but God made me the same promise he makes YOU now, in your deep waters:

1. You will go through suffering as well as joy in your life--notice it says "When...";
2. He will be with you through every part of it; --and--
3. No matter how painful it is, the intensity will pass, and your life will get easier.

But you are only passing through the deep waters, and walking through the fire of oppression. You are not there forever. Take your hope in God's deliverance.

Life comes in stages. If it is wonderful, it will come to an end at some point. Sorry! To paraphrase Dr. Seuss: Don't grieve that when it's over; rejoice for as long as you have it. Celebrate and recognize the good times, but realize that they cannot last, until you reach heaven.

The good news is, if you're going through a tough stretch, it will also ease up in time. When tragedy ransacks your life, you will eventually come out again on the other side of it. You will be different, but you will be whole again. Not as soon as you'd like, but in God's timing and his most loving way.

Your current crisis will end. You will survive. God will remain with you. There is no Plan B. This is the plan, God's plan. No matter what everything around you looks like at this moment.

He will bring out strengths you never knew you had, and bless you in ways you could have never imagined. May his presence be more real to you now, today, than it ever has been. May his comfort and strength fill you with hope and courage for whatever this day holds.

You are not alone. The God who made you is with you, working to bring you through these deep waters.

When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

Isaiah 43:2

Rooftop Gardens

You know those movies with aerial shots of Manhattan: the cityscape is filled with building after building rising from the pavement. What a happy surprise when from the sky you can spot a rooftop garden, a tiny square of greenery. It's able to change everything around it with a bit of life. Even the smallest garden is an oasis from the tons of concrete and glass. Every one is a secret, known only by its owners. But if you do know the owner of one, you may get to go inside.

When I was in downtown Manhattan years ago, I was struck by how dark the streets can be at ground level. I could only see what was right in front of me. I couldn't keep the perspective of where I was going.

My New York-born husband was with me, however. He led me through all sorts of exotic places, since he knew his way around perfectly. He had walked these street in all kinds of visibility. He could lead me to the hidden treasures, down alleys and along unfamiliar paths.

Jesus has the perspective to direct you to rest when you need it. He can get you to the unexpected pleasures like rooftop gardens. What is hidden from your ground-level perspective is clear to him. Ask him for directions. Take the elevator to the rooftop. Linger for awhile with him in the garden.

Wherever he is, the pastures are green, no matter what other chaos is surrounding you. Rest with him before you go back into the harsh concrete world, and you will be stronger for the battle.

He never promised your life would be easy. What did he promise? You are saved for a life with blessings in the midst of the chaos. He also promised to direct you to green pastures wherever you go with him.

Yes, I AM the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved. Wherever they go, they will find green pastures.

John 10:9

God will work miracles in YOUR life

Several times this past week, people have told me I'm an inspiration to them. Going back to school at such an advanced age. Living with medical challenges. Making myself over--again. Including crazy haircut.

When others compliment me on my punk haircut (or my life), I tell them honestly: all you have to be is fearless. For a punk, chunky haircut, who would know if I make a mistake? Note to self: don't cut during a seizure. It takes too long to grow back.

Yes, I've had some real suffering in my time. I've felt alone and naked on a battlefield. But I have also seen the host of God rush in to rescue me at the moment I could not stand any longer.

You are facing challenges, battles, and suffering of your own. What is the difference in being able to see the glories happening around you? Perspective. Too often, you look at your own story and discount the wonders God is working this day--this very day--while your story unfolds before your eyes. You are too close, too invested in the details to see the big picture.

If your story were happening to anyone else, you would be blown away with the miracles large and small in the telling of it. Tell your children, your friends, your family. Now, while the details are fresh in your mind. Write down God's answers to prayer. Do not forget what God has done for you.

Do this in remembrance of me. That is not a suggestion. Get going!

Fear not, for I AM with you. Be not dismayed, for I AM your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above what we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.

Ephesians 3:20