Hope as a way of living

Yesterday, my husband asked me to make the call to the health insurance company for him. He'd received notices on 4/1, 4/16, 5/1, and 5/16, all stating that he had to contact them "for verification of benefits." He was told each time that until he called, all payments would be on hold. There was no indication that we would ever stop getting these extortion notices.

As soon as he dialed the number given, however, he was told there was no need to call-- everything was in order. Was this some kind of joke by United Health Care? Did they have nothing better to do with their time?

Naturally, I dialed the number he had called, and was given the same recorded message. The first time.

Then I called a different number: the customer service line, where I could talk to a human. After explaining our story to one lady, she decided I needed to speak with a rapid claims reconciliation expert --someone with the power to cut through red tape.

"Hello, this is Hope." Of course you are!

"I have a daughter whose middle name is Faith," I gushed.

"Oh, I have a sister, Faith. And Charity and Peace." What a household of spiritual gifts! I said as much.

"How can I help you?" she asked. When I told her our frustrating story, she discovered the problem, found how to stop the glitch, and asked if there was anything else she could do to help me.

While I had her on the line, I gave her a long-standing problem I'd had with the company over an old bill. She helped with that. Because I have trouble hearing information over the phone (where the tumor is--auditory cortex), she repeated the information several times so I could write it down properly with tender patience.

By the end of the call, I told her how much she had helped me, and blessed me by her way of living her name. Hope in action.

What an inspiration to me, and to us all: it doesn't take much to be kind, to do the right thing, to get up off the couch. Hope colors everything. What you hope for becomes what you live for.
This Hope showed me also it is how she lives.

Lord, do not desert me now! You alone are my hope in the day of disaster. --Jeremiah 17:17
Come back to the place of safety, all you prisoners, for there is yet hope! I promise this very day that I will repay you two mercies for each of your woes! -- Zechariah 9:12

What are you following? Part 1

Anyone who has spent time on Twitter is familiar with the term Follower. In theory, it's good to have as many Twitter followers as possible, meaning that people are supporting what we say, they agree with us, think we are on the right track so to speak. At the very least, these people are expressing the desire to find out every time we issue 140 consecutive characters on their screens.

There are so many things in life to follow: good, bad, and in between. What or who you follow identifies who you are, doesn't it? You can follow a certain kind of life that will likely end with an early death. You just pictured something, didn't you? Did you picture drugs and fast cars? Or did you picture overeating and untreated sleep apnea? Because if you talk to a heart doctor, he might tell you that's a more deadly combination for people to follow.

I call the female voice on the GPS system in my Prius "Shirley." Why? Because Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. When Shirley gives me directions in a strange place, I follow her. I'm putting my trust into the system that guides Shirley's directions. Well, most of the time. Shirley's disk was programmed a few years ago, and not all new construction is on there.

In the Bible, Jesus simply told some people, "Follow me." His presence was compelling enough to make some of them not only follow him, but bring others back to find out about him for themselves.

In the book of Revelation, people who believe in Jesus are said to be followers of the Lamb, which is what John the Baptist called him: the Lamb of God. See Part 2 for more on this topic. You may have to skip down a few entries, but it's there. In the mean time, think about what you are following and what it means about you, who you are, and where it is taking you.

Let's take a break

How often do you take a break during your day? Does your day run away with you like an express train, until it's 10:00 at night, and you're a train wreck, wondering why you're snapping at the people you love?

Yesterday, I started into preparations for a "4 to 8 hour" (hah!) Biology lab before 8 in the morning, to be ready when my lab partner, Andrea, arrived at 9:30. She was planning to leave town this morning, so we needed to be finished as early as possible to let her get on with all her other last-minute chores. Some time after 9 AM, she called to say she was stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire, had broken her tire jack, AND she would need to stop and buy a new tire, because my house is 100 miles round trip from hers, and she could not use her little temporary replacement tire for the trip.

Ok, you get the picture. That's how I ended up finishing the last details after I forced her out the door so that she could pick up her rental car before the place closed. Then I had to finish the written report last night, so she could see that one of the experiments had changed results to the opposite of what she had observed, after she left.

And that's how I was just completing the typing and e-mailing the written report to her as the 10:00 news was coming on the television screen upstairs, where my abandoned husband had gone, after having watched me type and barely interact with him for 3 hours. Somewhere along the line he had muttered, "Is this what your school experience is going to be like? I just want to know."

Your day is your own variation on this theme. Kids needing you every waking second. Job demands from dawn to bedtime. No break, no time off. The phone, fax, e-mail, Twitter, whatever, is constant and all-consuming. That's how, after not very long, you are burnt out. You no longer want to reach out and touch someone. You don't want to touch ANY one, let alone have them touch you. You want peace. You want quiet. You want rest for your weary heart, soul, mind, body, nerve endings. All your synapses are screaming, "NO MORE! Adios."

Do you want a clue that you're overloaded? You're forgetting things. Some are minor, but some are not. Are you? Your brain has said, "Capacity reached. We're out of here. Bandwidth exceeded."

Another sign: Your concentration is lousy. You can hear the same information several times, and not get it. (See above. Capacity reached.) Maybe you're asking the same question over and over. You can't hold onto the answer. It's not that you're not listening. That is a completely different issue. You cannot retain information. So let your husband/wife off the hook if they're doing this to you.

I won't even ask about the more serious signs, like a car accident, or ongoing over-eating, under-eating, or other unhealthful ways to cope with overload and burnout. Look at Part 2 for some baby steps out of this mess.

Let's take a break, part 2

OK, HOW DO YOU STOP THE PROCESS?

A baby step is to take mini-vacations during the day. In whatever small ways you can. If you cannot physically get away from what is draining you (i.e., little children), take mini-stay-cations that refresh you that keep you present if needed, but still get you mentally and emotionally away for a short time for a break.

Ruth Graham, wife of Billy Graham, kept her Bible on the dining room table, so she could read it as she had moments free while raising her young children. She called it "reading on the hoof." Keep a refreshing liquid handy, as well, to nurture you for a few moments at a time: iced tea, chai, whatever works for you. Make it the night before, or once a week and keep it ready.

For others, make rituals of coffee breaks, a coke in the middle of the morning or afternoon, other short times you can take and get mentally or physically away from everything for a few minutes. That short time can give you a fresh perspective when you return to your desk, your classroom, wherever you spend your day.

Do the same thing on the way to and from your workplace: you can prepare for the day and repair from the day. These transitions can make a huge difference for YOU, and for your family. Your day becomes divided into parts, not one, long, never-ending demanding, draining, bloodsucking, vortex of gloom that is waiting to consume you every waking moment.

And if your workplace is the home, find a way to create transitions. Change your clothes before you allow yourself to go to the computer to start your daily work tasks. That kind of thing.

Oh, and another thing: if you've forgotten God in all of this, start bringing him back in. You can prepare for the day and repair from the day with him. And talk to him in between. I'm right with you, friends.

Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

What are you following? Part 2

In Part 1, we were talking about what people might follow, and what it might mean to call Jesus the Lamb of God.

Someone who has no Bible background may think this is a strange way to talk about Jesus. To the people of the time, though, it made sense. He was living his life to fulfill centuries' old prophesies to fill a kingly role, but also to fill the role for getting rid of guilt in everyone's life.

From the very beginning of mankind, human beings had a problem with feeling guilty when they did something wrong. We all do. God had given the people of Israel a temporary fix: by offering tangible, living sacrifices. People bought something and gave it to be sacrificed to God to tell him they were sorry and wanted to be forgiven. One of the best things to be sacrificed would be a lamb. But it had to be absolutely perfect in every way. It couldn't have any marks, weaknesses, or defects.

I'm oversimplifying, of course, but Jesus took on this role with his life. He became that lamb on behalf of each one of us. He became the Lamb of God, and he lived a perfect life, so that when he was killed, he could take all the guilt for everyone who ever had lived or ever would live, including us.

As his followers, we decide to believe in the gift Jesus gave when he allowed himself to be put to death, and receive the forgiveness he bought with his death.

Paul actually had the boldness to tell the Corinthians (in the King James 11:1), "Be followers of me, as I follow Christ."

Yes, we can of course follow others, but we realize the main ONE we're following is Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God. We can have our followers, too, but we have to be clear-headed that they're following us as we follow HIM.

John 1:43 The following day Jesus wanted to go to Galilee, and he found Phillip and said to him, "Follow me."

Staying Close When Things Ease Up

Having a brain tumor sounds so dramatic--and it is--but it's only benign for the moment although it's causing a lot of trouble, and will probably eventually have to come out. The medications for the seizures it causes, the side-effects of the meds, the headaches, the brain damage it's already caused, blah, blah, blah.

Well, don't give up! Things are much better than last week. That is good and bad news.

I apologize for talking so much about my health recently. But health is part of real life, isn't it? It's something every one of us struggles with at some time, or someone we love is struggling with right now. It one of those things you don't notice at all when it's going well. When it's not, it seems to push itself to the front because something is hurting, or making you feel sick, swollen, or otherwise miserable.

If you don't currently have a health problem, take a moment to thank the Lord. I am. Thank you, Father, for a drastically more bearable week than the week before!

The week before felt like PMS all week, from retained fluid. I used to have a counseling client who had a great line: "Last week I was so vicious, I didn't know if I had PMS or RABIES!" Or the joke about the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS: sometimes you can reason with a terrorist. My poor husband!

The good news is that we've finally seen the pattern (after seeing the pattern, that this is a side-effect of my meds and the depletion of salt from my body), so we're now able to control the whole thing much better.

That horrible, uncontrolled week, however, I was completely dependent upon God to get me through each day, because each day was a battle. God was my resource to survive, my strength, my fortress, my hope.

How about you? Are you having one of THOSE weeks? Where God is your only hope? Are you hanging on by your fingernails--and several of those are broken? Yet, and yet, there is a desperate intimacy with God in those terrible weeks. The tiny victories are powerful, and break our hearts with joy to see the work of God in our lives. To see that he really does care about our little needs.

But if you are not having one of those weeks, if your health or your stress level is at a more even state, again, remember to give thanks. The human tendency is to forget when things are good.

This week when I was not suffering as much, I simply got to work on my biology, trying to catch up on what I had not been able to do last week. I felt so much better, I wasn't thinking about the suffering I was not having to thank the Lord about. That's why we need reminders.

One way to remember is to have verses around. I keep index cards, since they're small and interchangeable. Maybe you like lists. You do whatever works for you.

I have a friend who is dying right now. I think of her, and know that at any moment, she is in pain, and needs prayers for comfort and God's peace to surround her as she's going through the dying process.

I also have a daughter who's praying about the mission field, another who's adopting a child, another who's raising active little boys, another who's going through very challenging times especially this time of year, a niece who's getting married, etc.

You must get the point. The list will keep you going, if your personal list is empty. You can thank God for what he has done in your life, your loved ones' lives, the answers you have seen, thank him that he is working in these current life stresses for your loved ones, and pray for them in the midst. The bottom line: you will never run out of things to bring to God for thanks or for his help.

Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

What it takes to be a Hall of Famer

Read this post after you've read the previous two. That way, it will make the most sense. Rather than one super-long post, I broke it into three. Each will kind of work on its own, but not as well.--JEO

In Genesis 15, both men and women can identify with Abram's [his name had not yet been changed] frustration with God. After receiving a call to leave his family and home, change everything in his life, for which he was supposed to become a great nation and a blessing to the earth, nothing was happening. He was 75 when he was called, so this was some time up to 10 years after that. In the next chapter, it's mentioned that 10 years have passed--that's how we know the time-frame.

Abram had a conversational relationship with God to speak honestly. He said what he really thought, and it's not pretty here. But God, who already knew what he was thinking, let him say it, and then gave him a promise and blew his socks off (theological term). Abram, with his heart open and his socks off, believed God, and became a faith Hall of Famer as an ordinary person.

Why do I call him a Hall of Famer? Because he's in Hebrews 11 for this very act of belief. Hebrews 11 is considered by some to be the faith Hall of Fame. I've thought for a long time that Hebrews 11 is filled with people who are actually ordinary and weak at times, and shown by God to be ordinary so we can see that God considers our faith to be just as real and tough and important as theirs. That we are also in his ongoing Hall of Fame for our wrestling with decisions to believe him or not.

The Lord: "Don't be fearful, Abram, for I will defend you. And I will give you great blessings."

But Abram replied, "O Lord, what good are all your blessings when I have no son? For without a son some other member of my household will inherit all my wealth."

Then the Lord told him, "No, no one else will be your heir, for you will have a son to inherit everything you own."

Then God brough Abram outside beneath the nighttime sky and told him, "Look up into the heavens and count the stars if you can. Your descendants will be like that--too many to count!" And Abram believed God; then God considered him righteous on account of his faith.

Genesis 15:1-6

Abram simply believed God that he would have a child and it changed the course of history.

Of course it was the biggest thing in his life, and the hardest to do. What do you have to believe God about today?

Mote or a Log? Continued from Last Post

Yesterday's post about the power of God referred to the suffering of Abraham and Sarah while they waited 25 years for the child God had first promised to Abraham.

Jesus talked about the difference between a mote in your eye and a log. What is the difference? Whose eye it's in. When it's in someone else's, a mote. When it's in your eye, it's a log. Compassion and empathy are about being able to have a deeper understanding of that truth. The person who has experienced a similar type of suffering will be able to bring that memory and "get it" instantly in ways no one else ever will because they know the pain.

The women who are reading who have struggled, longing or waiting to have a baby will instantly understand what Sarah was feeling, although it was centuries ago. Because I had one daughter die soon after birth, and had a miscarriage 5 months later, I have a really good sense of the intensity of Sarah's feelings of emptiness and loss, even if I didn't have to wait 25 years to have another child. Many women can find ways to identify with her pain.

I think God included her in the narrative in as much detail as he does because he knows that women will identify better with her than with Abraham, and he wants women to get it experientially how much he cares for them by letting them identify with a real person's story. I'm convinced that's why the successes and failures (case histories) of people are so candidly recorded in the Old and New Testament.

In Genesis 20, God gave Sarah a few perks men can't appreciate that are side issues to the story. There is a narrative about the deception of Abraham lying to Abimelech about Sarah being his "sister" (a technicality), Abimelech taking her into his harem, and a huge mess ensuing. God had to keep her safe from being enpregnated by anyone but Abraham to uphold his promise. The reason for the deception? She's a knockout. Abimelech takes one look at her and wants her for his own.

Bottom line: At 89 years old, Sarah's so beautiful, men are smitten with her. She's a hottie. My mother suggested God gave her hormone treatments to get her ready to have a baby, which would rejuvenate her body and face. VaVa Voom. At 89. I think as a woman, God's giving her some compensation for her waiting all those years--a beauty treatment and make-over.

Now, remember Abraham. He was 100. No Viagra in the desert. No matter how great she looked, he was still an old man. God delicately leaves how he handled that part, um, unclear.

And then in Chapter 21, the fulfillment of all Sarah had been waiting for. "Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him."

We can all appreciate the fulfillment of something we've been watiting a terribly long time for. But some of us, who've been aching for something, praying for something, hanging on for it, those people will truly understand what these words meant to Sarah when she finally gave birth to that baby boy at age 90.

To those people, I say, Keep on, dear ones! Take every hour by each hour. You know this, but keep doing it. Keep putting one foot after the other, after the other. You can do that much. God will give you that much strength. God Bless you and strengthen you for this hour and this day. God bring you your Isaac--whatever that is--in the fulness of his time.

Is anything too hard?

We've all been going through drama, haven't we? We get buried up to our eyeballs, and we think we're the only on who is having a problem--sorry! not a problem--a challenge. Or maybe you don't do it the way I do: get in too far before you realize you could have called for help long ago.

I'm taking two online courses this summer in preparation for a program I'm hoping to take in the fall. In the meantime, my meds have been way out of balance. The professor for one of the classes expects us to spend about 15-18 hours a week on her class. Well, it took me more than 30 to get the work done, and it was grueling. 30, because it was so hard to do. Then, I had to get to the other class. That was 7-10. And it was agony.

FINALLY, I realized, God made my brain. Well, as my daughters used to say, like duh. I could ask him for help. My Creator. During one of my middle-of-the-night awake spells, I thought of this, and asked my Lord, my Maker, the God of the Universe to bring me relief and help. And of course he did.

I was able to get help medically and academically this week. Everything is taking longer to do. It is humbling. I am used to being the jackrabit, and I am forced to be the turtle. God has lessons for my pride, here, along with the others.

It also (finally) occurred to me that I might sleep better if I put scripture into my mind right before bed. Not a new thought, but really useful. Searching for a passage, of course what seemed like a random spot now makes complete sense. Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 18. Their longing for a child was so much harder for them than my miserable week last week. They had been promised a son for 25 years, and they had seen nothing. But pain is pain. When it's yours, it's huge.

Then Abraham and Sarah had the three visitors, including the Lord himself, to tell them the wait was over. Sarah laughed in surprise that Abraham and she would be physically able to produce a child (really not unreasonable at their ages).

v13"Then the Lord said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old? Is anything to hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son."

What jumped out at me is the sentence from the Lord: Is anything to hard for the Lord? The implication is a firm NO! No a child at 90, not my problems--challenges, not yours.

NOT ANY THING. Praise God. I've written it on an index card and I'm carrying around. How about you?