Guilt was ransacking her life. She had been raised in a family that used guilt as a motivator. Lots of families do this, because it works so well. Parents use it because their parents used it on them. The problem is, Guilt is the Gift that Keeps on Giving. It can last a lifetime, and not for good. As a family therapist, I've seen lots of guilt's effects through the years.
My friend was making terrible choices about her friends, her job, and how she was letting people treat her in general, all because she thought she needed to be punished for all of the wrong things she decided she had done in her life. She kept asking God for forgiveness, but she never felt forgiven.
I asked her, "Do you believe Jesus died for you?"
"Yes, of course I do."
"OK," I said. "Do you believe his death was enough to get you forgiveness?"
"Well, sure, but...I just don't feel it." At least she was honest.
"So," I said,"you're saying that your standards are higher than God's standards?" I was praying for real guidance to help her get free of this terrible burden. She's very smart--so logic seemed like a starting point to get past her emotions.
"Well of course not," she said. "I know it's just a feeling. But I still feel guilty, and it won't go away."
God gave me an idea. "Okay, how about if you stop asking him to forgive you, and start thanking him for the forgiveness you already have? Every time you feel guilty, thank him until you start to believe what he has done for you." In spiritual warfare, praise and thanksgiving are powerful weapons against the evil one. Why not use them here, with false, self-induced guilt?
She agreed to try it. I didn't see her until about a month later. When I did, her face was transformed, she was glowing with a freedom she had never shown before. She told me her life was turned around by the reality of what Christ had done for her. She now lived it daily when guilt tried to nip at her heels.
And for more of the story: my friend made many good, tough, longterm decisions. She's come a very long way in her journey with God, and I've had the honor to watch from the sidelines as he works in her life. As she has in mine.
How about you? Are you carrying guilt from family shame? Are you trying to live up to standards that are higher than God's? Realize false guilt for what it is, and start thanking God for the forgiveness he has already given you through Jesus' death on the cross. It is enough.
Thank you, Lord, for providing for me though your Son. Because you are worthy, you have made me worthy. Praise your Name!
God presented Jesus as a sacrifice of atonement through faith in his blood.
Romans 3:25
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