Miracles Grow

Count it all joy

2011-02-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

   Longtime readers have heard me report on the promise God gave to his people in the wilderness:
See, I am sending my angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared. Exodus 23:20
   Again and again, I have seen how God's hand is at work in my life, going ahead of me, protecting me from perils I could not have imagined before they revealed themselves, and providing extravagant deliverance.
   Here is an example. About a month ago, an idea came to me to create another blog, called Grannie Libbett's Stories, at grannielibbettsstories.blogspot.com That one would be a place to put the stories I've written for my grandchildren, but available for other children (and adults) to read. My greater plan is to make videos of myself reading the stories and put them on YouTube, so the children can see them in their scattered locations around the country. Since I don't see them more than once or twice a year, it would be a fun way to "read" to them their stories more often--and let other kids enjoy it as well.
   What God knew is that in the meantime, my brain tumor has been changing. In fact, I'm now slated to have a biopsy within the next few weeks, and then to begin up to a year of chemo. Our God alone knows what real changes lie ahead, so getting these stories recorded for the grands, and available for them seems like a wonderful idea for now, while I am in good strength, and look like myself.
   Whatever our Lord has in my future, I hold fast to his promise. He is sending his angel ahead, to guard me along the way, and he is bringing me to the place he has prepared for me. His peace floods my soul and spirit. How could it not, with a promise such as that from the God who holds the universe in place?
   How about you and the problems facing you? The same God is holding you, with the same care and attention to detail. He is going ahead of you to bring you to the place he has prepared for you, if you allow him to. Don't miss the opportunity before you. You always have the power to choose. Choose well.

God's Valentine

2011-02-11T11:19:00.000-08:00

   Regular readers have already heard about the Verse-A-Day Calendar I received from one of my daughters and her family at Christmas. Yesterday was another example of how God's word is always timely and perfect for a day, no matter when we read it.
   Recent readers know I've been recovering from influenza (the kind in the lungs). On its way out, it decided to stop in my sinuses.
   So, I was worn pretty thin to face the world on less than a full night's sleep. In a service world, we must let things roll over us; I usually can with ease, but in my broken-down state, I was not relying enough on the Lord's grace when I should have been. Someone has been demeaning me routinely. I can usually take it in silence. I let down my guard and actually went back two minutes later and requested the person not to do so. In the context where I was, this is considered unacceptable behavior.
   Today, I read what I should have read yesterday: The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. Proverbs 19:11 Here was a perfect direction from the Lord, ready to help me handle this problem before I reacted to it--and I missed it by missing my daily reading before I walked out the door! The person was not right to belittle me. God doesn't expect us to call a blatantly wrong thing the right thing--but we can overlook it by his grace when we are prepared in his strength.
   This is only a tiny illustration of God's continuous love letter to us. His Word speaks moment by moment in the exquisite breath of freshness our lungs so desperately cry out for. He fills them up for our battles, great and small, and keeps pumping oxygen in longer after we ever began to know we needed it. God's Spirit breathes life into our inspiration, and respiration, giving strength to do the perspiration.
   Feeling the ache in your heart for a true Valentine this time of year? You have an eternal One. Don't forget all he has done.
For God so loved the world, that he gave...

God's protection in all ways

2011-02-01T09:08:00.000-08:00

   As I write this, I'm home from work for several days with influenza and bronchitis. Before you ask, incredulously, "Didn't you get your flu shot?" No, I couldn't, due to a sensitivity to Thimerisol, the preservative in the vaccine. Thimerisol, a mercury-based preservative that has its own share of controversy, has now been completely removed from children's vaccines, but it was used extensively in contact lens solution for decades.
   That's where my sensitivity developed. I started wearing contacts as a teenager in the late 1960's, and wore them through the 1990's. For the last 5 years or so that I wore them, I was plagued by a feeling of irritation and matter in my eyes. Once I found contact solution for "sensitive eyes" (Thimerisol-free), my eyes felt much better!
   Thus began my knowledge of a problem related to Thimerisol. I was then able to avoid it in all my eye products, and thought the story was over.
   Thimerisol resurfaced in my life when I began having annual flu shots. On the disclaimer questionnaires, were the series of questions: are you allergic to eggs? Milk products? Other foods? Thimerisol?
   Thimerisol? When I asked about this, my various doctors told me that because my eyes had been extremely irritated, and formed matter in reaction to the product meant my immune system would have some sort of unpredictable response to it being injected into my arm and bloodstream.
   Every year now, I ask again about the new vaccine, hoping this batch doesn't have Thimerisol as a preservative. In 2010, it did. So here I am with, as the French call it, la grippe. But God has graciously given us Tamiflu, which I started on yesterday, as well as antibiotics for the bronchitis (begun on Saturday). The fever's down, and now I just have to keep the nebulizer going to get my lungs back in business.
   What does all this have to do with spiritual things?
   How many times do seemingly innocuous little actions or habits creep into our lives and over the long haul have the potential to produce havoc for us? All the time! And yet our God is vigilant in protecting us from them, bringing them to our attention so we can make them right with him. That is, of course, why we must keep so close to him for his guardianship.
   We assume God's faithfulness is present, forgetting the enormous and tiny ways he holds our lives in astonishing balance. Only when it is off-kilter do we recognize how well he has been keeping it together for us.
   Thank you, once more, my magnificent Creator and Lord, for the multitude of ways you hold and maintain the universe--and each of us--in perfect alignment.
"My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."

Psalm 121:2-4

On the hoof

2011-01-24T06:48:00.000-08:00

   I remember years ago hearing that Billy Graham's wife, Ruth, would leave her Bible open on the dining room table when her children were young. The reason? As they were running around--and she was running after them--she could read a snatch of scripture "on the hoof," in the thick of the action.
   What a wonderful idea, don't you think? Practical, down-to-earth, and timeless. When do you need God's word most? In the heat of battle, of course. Have your Sword of the Spirit ready and drawn. What could be better than to sharpen it with a quick new insight, promise, or exhortation when we need to hear it?
   Let's get creative today. Let us all look for ways to keep our God present in our daily lives and routines. It is far too easy to let the day run away like a derailed train.
   Remember WHO holds our day, if we let him. He holds the stars in space. My day is no bother to him--and neither is yours. Live on the hoof.
Rejoice evermore.Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Judge not

2011-01-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

My daughter's family gave me a Verse A Day Calendar for Christmas.The calendar has all sorts of verses, from praises to commands to prophecies. What I'm doing is taking the verse for the day from the calendar, then reading the context around it in my own Bible, and seeing where it leads.

One morning recently, I came across Jesus' command in Matthew regarding passing judgment on other people. You know it: "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." (Matthew 7:5)
It hit me like a ton of bricks. As "nice" as I am, I judge people who are not my definition of "nice." I see someone's unkindness to another person, I intervene if I can on behalf of the injured party--but I know I also file away a judgment on the perpetrator in the back of my mind.

I've been around people lately who seem to complain constantly, and the complaints feel like drops of acid on my spirit. I try to be Teflon and let this run off, but somewhere deep inside I'm subconsciously judging these people.
Who am I to do this? Good question.

I'm forced to realize the beam in my own eye is the pride that has long held a stronghold inside my heart. I take my gifts and talents for granted, but I do take pride in them, forgetting the our Lord is the One who gave them to me. They are his trust to me, for me to use for his glory. Judgment, of course, is a outward symptom when I take pride for myself, and not my Lord.

Thank you, Father, for the reminder that when I judge, I need to come back to you in repentance for my pride in holding myself above the other person.

Lord, again, I give this battle back to you. I humble myself and ask for your forgiveness and help to live in the way that will bring honor to you everywhere I go. Give me your eyes to see every person who stands before me with your compassion and your care. Keep my focus on you and your glory, not their shortcomings.
Thank you that you have us all in your powerful hands, now and evermore.

He knows the plans he has for us

2011-01-05T08:08:00.000-08:00

   Last July, when I visited my parents in Los Angeles, we all felt God's presence blessing that trip in countless ways from beginning to end. I had just finished the educational and clinical portion of my training, and was about to take my licensing exam when I returned. My dear husband knew that once I passed the exam (faith!) I would be busy with job interviews, and it would be hard to get in a trip to the West Coast.
   You can read about some of the blessings in past blog postings from last summer. They were cool!
    I had flown into Los Angeles tired and discouraged. God used my parents, his healing Spirit, and the time away to give a makeover to my dragging perspective. He even used the words in the worship music in the Sunday service that week. If you'd like to hear it, the song is "I Will Not Be Shaken," by Tommy Walker, and the link to his YouTube performance of it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6egSTFQLWc
   Returning from the trip, I was re-filled with a peace and sense that God truly was going ahead of me, and would get me to the right job at the right time. I write this as I anticipate beginning my new full-time job with benefits tomorrow. Praise God! Many thanks to all who have been praying with me during the months of my job search.
   You can look back at the previous post for the three verses I shared that have given me hope throughout this time, but the one that kept going through my mind and heart was:
  See, I am sending my angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared. Exodus  23:20
   The reason I share all of this is to encourage you, my friends, in the midst of your own journeys. You are on your own personal battlefields right now, feeling weary and alone, disheartened.
   The Almighty God sees exactly what is happening in your life at this moment, and he himself is guiding you with his infinite care, no matter what the surroundings say, despite the darkness of today's skies, or the chaos of the battle. May his breath be warm on your cheek as he holds you close today, this very hour, and always.

Looking ahead, again

2010-12-30T06:08:00.000-08:00

   Dear friends, this is the second New Year's Day we are facing together. For most of us, it can be a time of anticipation or reflection on what may be ahead in the coming months. Those of you who know me know that I look for every chance to celebrate a fresh start: a new day, a new month, and now a New Year.
   This year, God has brought many changes to my life, as he probably has to yours. This past year has brought a change of direction for me, which almost always means some amount of suffering, doesn't it? You may be going through that yourself. All I can say is that it looks like I'm coming out on the other side, and our God has been faithfully standing with me throughout this long year.
   The verses that have given me the most hope this year have been those given to Israel as they were in their desert, wandering and wondering if they ever would find a place of rest.

See, I am sending my angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared. Exodus 23:20

The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; he will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.Deuteronomy 31:8

For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you. Deuteronomy 20:4

These verses truly gave me a lifeline during some very long months, but again and again I can now look back and see that the Lord was indeed going ahead of me to bring me to the right and best place that he had prepared for me.

For whatever is ahead in your lives, my friends, rest in the knowledge that our mighty and loving God is going ahead of you, preparing your best. He will not fail or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed, no matter what comes your way. Who could ask for more in the new year--or ever?

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! And Happy New Year to all!

God's Gift List, Part 2

2010-12-20T08:21:00.000-08:00

From prison and trial they led him away to his death. But who among the people realized that he was dying for their sins—that he was suffering their punishment? Isaiah 53: 8

As you look at the manger scenes and listen to the carols today, remember why Jesus came. Jesus was born to live a blameless life so that he could lay it down in exchange for every thing you ever did that keeps you from God. Maybe you have known the Lord for years, or you are wondering where you stand with him. Perhaps you have asked for forgiveness again and again, yet you still feel guilty. You are why Jesus came to earth. You are enough of a reason for him to come.

What stands between you and God today? Pain? Guilt? Shame? Let this year's celebration of his first coming be a renewal of his coming into your heart in a fresh way. Or, let him come in for the first time. He’s knocking on your door; it’s up to you to let him in.

Don’t let busyness get between God and you today, either. Maybe you have family commitments--or your family should be committed!

Whatever is going on, make time for our loving Father, the powerful designer and creator of the universe. He loves you so much that he gave his precious Son so you could be with him for eternity. Take some time to remember that this week.

Gift Lists

2010-12-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

Just a little something to keep in mind as you get busy with the shopping and gifts this time of year...

Our typical gift list:

Tie for Dad
Perfume for Aunt Jane
X-Box for Brad
Lego set for Tim
Princess dolls for the girls
Gift cards, etc.

Paid for from Christmas savings or little by little through the following year.

God's gift list:

Our freedom
Our forgiveness

God has purchased our freedom with his blood and has forgiven all our sins. Colossians 1:14

Don't let the busyness of this season keep you from appreciating the gifts you have been given at such a high cost.

How much do you really have? Freshen up your perspective

2010-11-29T15:54:00.000-08:00

[I also posted an entry about the story in this blog last year, but it touches my heart so much, I'm sharing it again.]
Of course, I don’t mean you should give so much that you suffer from having too little. I only mean that there should be some equality. Right now you have plenty and can help them. Then at some other time they can share with you when you need it. In this way, everyone’s needs will be met.

2 Corinthians 8:13,14

If you’re having a good day, pour out your energy into lifting someone else up. I know you know this. When you spend your strength and hope on those who are hurting, needing the gift of encouragement, God will shower it back on you just when you need it most.

You know how stressful the Christmas season can be for most people, so it won’t be hard to find targets of opportunity. Understand, of course, that sometimes, that means just being with someone who needs your presence, not your presents. Perhaps even crying with someone who’s spending the first Christmas without that person they loved, and not talking them out of their tears. If this is your first Christmas without a loved one, you will be the best person to share that pain, because you know exactly how hard it is.

One Christmas, when my grandmother, Nelda, was in her eighties, she shared a tender story from her childhood with me. Her parents were barely earning enough money for food and rent one year, so when Christmas came, a tree was not even a possibility for their little family. But Mimi, Nelda’s mother, pulled out her box of tree ornaments anyway. Simply because they were without a Christmas tree, didn't mean the house had to be barren.

Mimi decided to hang the ornaments up. She picked what might seem an odd spot: the sofa cushions. What she did was choose to take what she still had, rather than bemoan what she did not have. With that she created a bit of festivity in their little apartment, and made the best of things. She never acted as if there were anything unusual about using the couch as a Christmas tree. I have often thought of her courage, her dignity, and resourcefulness in the face of adversity.

When your account is overdrawn, God promises to raise up someone, something, some means to provide for you. Ask him to send someone to share with you this very day.

Hold our mighty God to his promises. If your Christmas decorations are in a box this year, ask for his help and creativity. He is the the One who hung the stars in space. It would be insulting to expect too little of him. May he provide in wondrous ways for you and yours.

Making a visit

2010-11-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

   I'm in Seattle for almost two weeks, with my daughter who lives here with her husband and three young sons. The youngest is very, very young: just three weeks, which is why I'm here. Originally, it had been planned for months that her husband was to be gone this week, so I was to swoop in like the Mounties or the cavalry and come to Rescue the Perishing.
   As it frequently turns out when you plan details out so well, plans get changed out from under you. Her husband ended up needing to travel last week; his darling mother, Kathy, was obliged to be the Mounties for them instead, bless her heart. She often does this, since she lives nearby--another reason I was coming in--to save Kathy's energy for future unforeseen interventions. But, it is what it is. Is it not?
   SO, I am having a relatively easier visit, since Dad is here in the evenings to help. I feel a bit guilty, not being the Mounties.
   Yet, God has a reason for the timing of me being here this particular set of days. There were several events that had to come together for me to be here during this time, and of course they did--some day I may tell you about them, but that's for another posting. I have a real sense of anticipation, as I fight the cold that's trying to pull on my immune system, to see if our Lord will reveal what the reason is.
   Stay tuned, and if I find out, I'll share....
It reminds me of the prophets of old, and their anticipation of the coming Messiah. Or Anna and Simeon at the time of Jesus' birth, waiting to see him before they died.
   Remember, what you hope for is what you live for, so fix your eyes on him, and hope for big things, dear ones!
For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I've committed to him against that day. 2 Timothy, Chapter 2

Awaken the dawn

2010-09-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how many decisions are made by the time you get out of bed? If you look at my recent post, God's riches are waiting, you'll see my struggle to get back to working out on a regular basis again in my local pool.

For me, that battle is won or lost by the time I know how early or late it is in the first glimmers of consciousness each morning. If I decide I could roll over, for just a FEW more minutes in those wonderfully warm covers, rather than forcing my feet onto the carpet and toward the swimsuit in the closet, I'm toast.

The rest of the day gets going like a runaway train. I get into other things, and I've found a hundred reasons not to go to the pool.

I've already paid the quarterly community fees, allowing me to go for "free." The water feels delicious and exhilarating, once I get going. I feel like I've won a small victory over my inner couch potato.

IF I can just get out of bed, and IF I can just get into the swimsuit, I will be really glad I went. That's why, for me, I finally figured out that the real problem comes down to those microseconds before the decision is finalized. How inconvenient to have these crucial moments occur when I am so sleepy, and the bed is so inviting.

Of course, that's the way battles are. They wouldn't be battles if they were easy.

Now, I hope you've realized that I'm not writing all of this as a HOW-TO on waking up in the morning.

For me, in the pool, I can pray and deeply enjoy a time with the Lord--all the more reason to get those feet onto the carpet. I'm nearly alone at the pool, and the others who are there are lost in their own quiet worlds. It's serene and a glorious place to spend time with God while getting some exercise.

You have your own battles, sidetracking you from living your most fulfilling day with your Lord, your job, your family. Our God alone knows how many days are left to you in the grace-filled gift that is your life. Be mindful today of the one you have before you, and use it well.

Your day begins in those moments before your head leaves the pillow. At least I know I'm in good company. King David also decided to awaken his entire soul early to praise the Lord.

Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Psalm 57:8-10

When you're up to your neck in alligators

2010-09-22T20:17:00.000-07:00

Friends, I've been away for quite awhile. The longer I've been away, the harder it's been to come back. You know how that goes. The empty page stares back at me, and I stare right back at it.

It's almost as if there's too much to say, and it's too hard to start. Where do I begin? It's just like trying to make up with a friend whose feelings you have hurt. And it doesn't get any better with each passing day. It just grows and grows. And, after awhile, there's a vast chasm where there once was a warm and easy relationship.

So, here we are, beginning again, to talk about things, a bit awkwardly, but knowing that once we start, it will become easier. The distances between friends can be bridged by love and forgiveness.

Now read the above in light of our busy lives. How many other relationships does it apply to? Think today about how easy it is to slip away from others. Yet, if you are willing to take me back and give me more chances to offer something to our relationship, others are probably willing to take you back when you reach out again to them, too.

Praise our Faithful, loving Lord for his abundant and compassionate heart for being the One who has continually welcomes us back. We don't have to be Prodigals to be distracted, busy, overworked, tired, weary, or to have writers' block. His arms are open to us all.

God's riches are waiting

2010-09-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've gotten back into working out. Surely none of you have ever fallen off the exercise wagon. Well, I have all the excuses: school, homework, job search, blah, blah blah. But flabby muscles don't care what the excuses are, do they? They simply keep getting flabbier, no matter the cause.

So, I'm easing into by doing an exercise I really love doing. Once I can get myself to do it again, I remember how good it feels--and then how good I feel when I get myself to do it, which motivates me to want to do it more. In our area, this activity takes place in a pool that has what's called a current channel. This means they've created a sort of meandering, river-like effect in an oval channel that has jets of water to provide a directional flow, a current. You don't notice it much when you go the same direction of the current.

What I like to do, however, is to go the opposite direction, against the current. The first time I did it, four years ago, it felt quite a bit like being in a rip tide. I know, having been in a rip tide as a kid. That's another story. But after building up to the challenge of it, I now love the workout of going that direction. That's how I built up my quads before my knee replacement. My doctor was so impressed--he said he wanted to bottle whatever I was doing!

It makes me wonder how I slipped away from my faithful routine, so that here I am, starting over again.

Isn't that how we are with the Lord, and opening up the treasures he has for us in his Word? The more we see a verse that blows our socks off, the more we want to read another, but then we get distracted. Or, living a life of praise and thankfulness. Don't we start forgetting all that God is constantly doing for us?

And what is crazier is that I already pay for the privilege of having the swimming pool available every day in my homeowners fees, whether I use it or not. What a waste not to enjoy and benefit as much as possible!

Need I even mention WHO paid for God's riches, so we could enjoy them freely and without restraint?

Friends, let's shoot the wad! We have storehouses of treasures at our disposal, and we live like we're scraping by with yesterday's leftovers.

Let's live like People of the Name we represent, demonstrating his extravagant goodness and mercy poured out on us, knowing that HE is going ahead of us and preparing a place for us. Let's go, dancing in our hearts, if not in the streets. Praise his glorious Name!

The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

Take your pick

2010-08-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

I've been praying about what to share with you, my blog readers. Too many ideas were hitting at one time, so suddenly an idea came to me--perhaps from the Lord? Why not share what I call my Twitter Quotes? People seem to love them, and find comfort or a smile when they read them. I hope you will, too.

God's own strength shines best through broken vessels, so here's a humble hurray from a cracked pot.
Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light.Bring his light into your darkness & get forgiveness & hope.
When you see God as HE really is and yourself as YOU really are, any doubt in him or pride in yourself vanish instantly.
May the God of the universe reign on your parade all day!
Never forget that your life is a battleground for your spirit and your ability to bring glory to the name of the Lord.
You can look at your past as baggage to drag you down, or as supplies for your daily battle. You choose. They weigh the same.
When you're up to your neck in alligators, it's time to drain the swamp, don't you think?
No matter where you go, your God is always there, ahead of you, preparing a place for you, sustaining you. Take a few moments and fly away. Know that he is with you.
What do I know for sure? The God who spoke the universe into being is directing my life. I can trust him to manage the details. You can, too.
Focusing on what you've lost keeps you miserable.Give God what's still left in your inventory.He can multiply loaves & fishes & you!
The God who spoke the universe into being is holding my day. That is more than good enough for me.
God is as near you today as he was yesterday. Nothing you do can change his faithfulness to you. Your fears don't scare him.
God uses the moments of pain in my life to carve a cup to hold the eternity of rejoicing with him.
God is never in a rush, but he has never been late, either. There's a truth to keep you warm on a cold afternoon.
Every single day is an extravagant gift of God for us to unwrap. What will you do with yours?
Lord, help these nearsighted eyes see beyond myself to your big picture!
God makes our most broken parts shine the brightest if we let him polish them.
When you speak the truth God has taught you through your pain to someone else who needs to hear it, God uses it to heal you both.
When God's plan is lived out, the world sees it, and it wants what he offers.
God is I AM, not I WAS or I WILL BE. Don't live in the past or fret about the future. Stay present with eternal I AM.
Stay present with I AM, and he will take care of the rest. Then you can rest in him.
For the glory and reputation of your Name, Lord, do what you will with my meager self. It's yours, anyway.

Earth to you: the battle is the Lord's. The God who spoke the universe into being is in charge of this fight, not you. That should take some of the pressure off. He only is the One responsible for getting you--and everyone depending on you--through this firestorm.

He has never let me down. He is the joy-bringer to my soul in the parched and weary land. He is I AM with me now, in my pain, bringing me through every part of it.

Dear friends, let us not forget that in our lives, THIS is Plan A. There is no Plan B in God's schedule. He IS in control.
We can look at our past as baggage to hold us back, or as resources given by God to draw from for our current battles.
My God reigns! When the seas around me are turbulent and the storms are fierce, my God is greater than all my storms.
Do not insult the Almighty God by trusting him with too little.
There is no shame in failing at a noble endeavor. The shame would be in never trying.
Thank you, Lord, for protecting me when I need it--and especially when I don't know I do.
In the heat of a summer's day, let the reign of God refresh your spirit.I AM God: I hold you in my hand. Do not fear. I AM with you.(from Isaiah)
Let the reign of God wash over your weary heart and bring healing to your life.
If God can use pressure + time to turn a lump of coal into a diamond, think what he can do with pressure + time + you.
Now, dear friends, good night. God keep you well until morning.And for you in different time zones: God doesn't slumber or sleep!
This, too, will pass away. Or you will. Either way, things will ease up!
Never underestimate the power of God to use your flimsy self to his glory.
God gave you a life with enough pain to help someone else. Share stories and find out. It may help you both.

I hope these brought you a smile or a bit of encouragement through our Lord. I'll simply add:

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Psalm 68:19

Restoring your soul

2010-08-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine lately came out of an extremely stressful time. Over coffee, she told me how drained she was, and how she felt empty and useless.

Yes, she understands about the normal physical let-down after you've poured out so much adrenaline for a long time, but this felt like something more global.

She had multiple things pulling her down, including exhaustion. But she clearly needed restoration of her soul and spirit by our Lord, poor girl.

I shared a tool I learned in graduate school, called the YES/NO game. It can transform your perspective on your current TO DO list.

Here it is: If you can do this with another person, it's much better. If not, read it to a mirror, or read it aloud.

Person 1: Take your entire list of Shoulds. I should lose 10 pounds. Stop and take a breath. Wait for Person 2.
Person 2: After each Should, say a very firm: NO.

I should read the Bible more. NO
I should finish that report faster. NO
I should call my mother. NO

Continue through all the Shoulds you can come up with.
After all the Shoulds are finished (and REALLY try to come up with a lot of them),
Now, Person 1 takes a few deep breaths, then starts fresh with, "What I'd really like to do is..." and Person 2 says, YES.
Then repeat the whole thing for Person 2.

This exercise can really free you up to praise God or read your Bible because you really want to, not because you should. The shift in your perspective is huge! You can be free, as God wants us to come to him.

Now, decide what you do in terms of: does any particular activity restore my soul? Yes? Great! Do it with joy. No? You are free to say no when someone asks.

If you are barely eking out your way right now, remember your God is going ahead, preparing that way. He is also in the business of restoring your soul, if you let him. So, dear one, allow him to do that for you.

He leads me by the still waters, he restores my soul. Psalm 23

God is going on ahead

2010-08-05T07:49:00.000-07:00

See, I am sending my angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared. Exodus 23:20
   For the last month, I have seen God's hand at work, smoothing a path for me out of the wilderness. The wilderness has been pretty grim, as yours may be. That goes with the territory. But there is hope. HE is here, and we're facing in his direction. Hallelujah! To you be the glory, Lord.
   A month ago, I'd just completed the intensive Certified Nursing Assistant course. Now, sensing his presence all the way, I've passed the exam. Of course, even though I've taken care of plenty of people in their homes and in retirement facilities when I worked for an agency, I'm considered a "new grad," so jobs are hard to get. Oh, well. My God is still sending an angel ahead of me. Through HIM, I have prospects, despite the job market.
   The Lord directed me to a wonderful website called Care.com. It has listings for families and care providers to put what they need, and what they offer, of all varieties: everything from pet sitting to tutoring, to infant care, senior care, special needs, babysitting, etc. I uploaded my picture, resume, skills, including how many languages I can speak, amount of pay I'd like. Then I started offering myself as a baby nanny (experienced with multiples--my daughter's twins), senior care, tutor, special needs care.
   Yesterday, I was contacted as a newborn twin baby nurse. Today as a senior CNA. Both possibilities are for different times and days, so I could potentially do both, and we'd all benefit. Praise God! And if these don't work out, there are plenty of others.
   So, my friends, as Churchill said, never give up. Never, never, never give up.
   Now, have you ever tried saying a verse word-by-word, placing emphasis on each word, to get full meaning? Let's try it with this verse: SEE, I am sending my angel ahead of you...
See, I AM sending my angel ahead of you...
See, I am SENDING my angel ahead of you...
See, I am sending MY angel ahead of you, to guard you along the way...
   You get the idea. Keep at it, and let the full power of God's going ahead of you flow over you, carrying you through your hard times--as well as the easier ones. It has transformed this month for me. Realizing that he is going ahead allows me rest in him, to let me get out of his way so he can do his will on my behalf, to the glory of his Name. May HE be praised!
The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; he will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.

Deuteronomy 31:8

Shall we sing?

2010-07-28T13:00:00.001-07:00

I’d need to prepare myself, Betsy told me. Barbara was slow to take to strangers. She could be very stand-offish with people she didn’t know, especially at first. I assured Betsy I’d keep my expectations low, and would pace myself completely according to how her mother greeted me.

Betsy and I were, therefore, quite surprised when Barbara matter-of-factly came up to me on that cold winter afternoon and took the scarf from my neck. She put it directly around her own throat, and then proceeded into my arms to embrace me warmly. How could I not fall in love with her?

On that afternoon, she introduced me to people as “her friend.” Only once in her remaining months did she ever call me by name, but often when I arrived at the Reminiscence Unit of the lovely facility where she lived, she would take a deep breath, and say with great feeling, “It’s YOU.”

Betsy arranged for a schedule that allowed for either herself or me to be with Barbara nearly every single day, so Barbara could always have contact with someone who loved her.

Even as Alzheimer’s ravaged her, she retained flickers of her artistic brilliance and her sense of humor. When I put an art book into her hands, she came to life. She’d look at a photograph of a 1920’s painter, and remark, “What a shrewd character he is.” For anyone who knows Alzheimer’s patients, this is an inconceivably difficult statement to make on many levels, let alone at her advanced stage, when she could not even accomplish sitting down—or swallowing—with ease.

One small example of her wit and personality came through when she was trying to get a nap (impossible) one day. She could not be left alone safely at that point, so I stayed quietly nearby in a chair, to make sure she didn’t fall when she tried to get up. She tossed and turned for about a half hour, then suddenly she sat bolt upright.

“Shall we sing?” she asked. Then she laid herself back down.

Barbara instinctively knew I was leaving for my 3-week vacation. She started failing more quickly the week before I was to leave. Of course, she'd been failing for months, but I know her accelerated deterioration was not a coincidence. There were other factors, but this was at least a part of the timing of her death.

I sat for part of the vigil with Betsy, and said my good-byes to my dear friend. Betsy and I prayed with and for this remarkable, dear woman as she stood on the brink of eternity. We told her, with tears running down our faces, that it was alright for her to go on to our loving Lord, to re-join the husband she had been inconsolably grieving for, to be free of her weakness at last.

Betsy just called this week, 2 years later, and we reminisced. What a gift of God Barbara was in my life. I thought you’d like to know her, too.
--P.S. I'm adding a few hours later after writing the above: I just remembered that I used to sing to Barbara when she was very agitated, and it would sometimes help her to get calm enough to sleep. She loved to hear the old hymns of the faith. Or, she'd love to hear verses from the Psalms. Sometimes, she'd look me deep in the eyes and whisper, "Thank you so much." I think she was talking to the Lord at that moment. I am humbled to have been present with her in those precious times.
Looking for that blessed hope; and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ. Titus 2:13
Please, as a kindness to all, only write comments in English. From now on, I'll remove any comments written in another language, unless a translation is provided with the comment.

Spiritual battle plan

2010-07-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

   Everywhere I look, friends and loved ones are struggling. A cancer diagnosis--or its return. A lost job. Murder, suicide, and unspeakable grief. Some of us are barely putting one foot in front of the other, let alone finding the joy of the Lord. How are we to encourage one another, when we feel beaten-down and helpless ourselves, out here on the battlefield?
   First off, of course, we must remember that the battle is not ours. Earth to you: the battle is the Lord's. The God who spoke the universe into being is in charge of this fight, not you. That should take some of the pressure off. He only is the One responsible for getting you--and everyone depending on you--through this firestorm.
   You don't have to solve the problems facing you, or figure a way of escape (hallelujah!)--those are God's jobs. What you must do is look to him and keep your eyes on him. He will go ahead of you and fight for you, as he did for King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20. In verse 2, the king received a report that a huge army was coming against him. His first reaction was to turn to God in public prayer and fasting. In verse 12, he ended that prayer with a request to the Lord he trusted to handle the looming disaster facing his people:
   “O our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.”
   Then, the Spirit of the Lord directed a man in the audience to say to the King, “This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s...’ ”

In the next blog, we'll talk about how King Jehoshaphat went to battle. If you want to read it for yourself, just look at 2 Chronicles 20. Hint: There's a whole lot of power in praise.

Take away whatever else God gives you from the host of blessings from this marvelous jewel of a story from God's treasure box. Remember: the battle is the Lord's. And when you don't know what to do, put your eyes on him. You will do very well, indeed.

He's not only with you in the battle--it's his to win. Rest in that, dear one.

The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

To God be the glory great things HE has done

2010-07-23T07:31:00.000-07:00

   For all of you who are sick of hearing me blather on about my life, here's your break. You longtime readers know the focus of this blog is to encourage those in distress. My heartfelt goal when I share is to show what God has done, for others and for myself. When he has done something powerful or surprising--or fun--in my life, I share it to remind you that he can and will do it in your life as well.
   Those who know me, know I'm coming out of a long, rough spell. God is, perhaps, bringing many threads together that have been a lifetime in the weaving. If so, praise his Name! If not, he has better things in mind, and he will faithfully, lovingly lead me to whatever he has in a different direction. As he will do for you, dear friend. I am not saying this lightly. Read those words again. Slowly. I am deeply, intently serious.
   He will lead you to the best for you, in his time and in his way. That way may be perilous or filled with sadness, but he, our loving, mighty Lord God, will be there, with you every step you take.
   I say this because I know loss and peril. I know what it is to feel a knife at my throat at midnight, and to wake up re-living it afterwards. I know what it is to have loved ones murdered, and to have to go into the crime scene to retrieve their important papers days afterwards before the killer's relatives go in to claim his belongings.
   I've learned that what makes recovery--and life-- possible: God's presence. One step at a time may be all you can do, some days. That's ok. Some days, standing still may be an effort. God, the great I AM, only wants you to be present with him.
   Keep remembering: I AM, not I WAS, nor I WILL BE. (Look at that past blog if you like.) Let go of the past and stop fretting about the future. Stay present with I AM, and he will take care of the rest. Then you can rest in him.
   For the glory and reputation of your Name, Lord, do what you will with my flimsy self. It's yours, anyway.
You know I'd rather be rejoicing in heaven with you, but as long as you want me here, use me to your matchless glory in the lives of others. Amen.
Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"
God said to Moses, "I AM who I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation."

Exodus 3:13-15

The gift of God through a person

2010-07-22T14:15:00.000-07:00

I can shamelessly promote Crisis Survival Rations because I know how they came about. God brought them into my life during a terrible crisis, and I know he shaped them, and directed them as I wrote them. Here's the story:
   Have you ever had someone streak across your life like a comet? Lighting it up for a few months, and then--
That was Kevin.God's love on two feet. I met him in Divorce Recovery classes. He was there, leading a group, and then in the post-divorce therapy group for those of us who wanted to figure out more of our own part of what happened. We all were determined not to need to be in Divorce Recovery again.
   Kevin was the most lovable Irish guy you'd ever want to meet! A leprechaun in spirit, if not in stature. Everyone adored him. He and I were buddies, really just good friends. The week that my divorce was final, I called him up, and told him that I had a job interview near his office in downtown Denver. Would he like to meet me for lunch?
   Kevin not only met me for lunch, treated me to lunch, then he prepped me with a mock interview. After that, when I told him that I didn't know my way around downtown Denver very well, he said, "Follow me, I'll drive in front of you and show you where to park."
   When we reached the right place, he signaled me to wait a minute. He rolled down his car window, and pulled something out of his wallet. "Here," he said, "This is my lucky Irish pound note. May it bring you luck on your interview!" Then he waved and drove off.
   A few days later, I called him and left a message on his voice mail. "Kevin, I'm nervous about hanging onto your lucky Irish pound note. What if the exchange rate goes down while it's in my keeping? That's too much responsibility for me to carry."
   I had another message on my voice mail. "Don't worry. I'll take my chances with the exchange rate. Keep it until I see you again."
   Nine days later, he died of a massive heart attack at age 42. He'd gone to the ER three times, and had been sent home. His sister found him on his kitchen floor. I saw him next at the wake. I offered his dear son the Irish pound note, but he was just like his father.
   "I have so many things of his. This is all you have. I'm sure he'd like you to keep it," he said.
   Crisis Survival Rations came from the agony I was feeling after the loss of Kevin. I needed God's comfort in my wrenching, fresh pain. Kevin had been a friend during a terrible ordeal, so the loss of him brought back the trauma of the divorce as well. As a therapist, I knew God could use all of this to help others, and that this opportunity wouldn't present itself in quite this way very often. I laid it in God's hands in my desperate need for my own help, but as it began, God used it to heal me along the way.
   As I wrote each "Ration," I'd pull out a favorite verse that had comforted me for years. I'd start to share something about it, thinking I knew where I was headed. Sometimes it ended up where I started. Other times, it ended up in a direction I had never even considered--so much better than I'd ever dreamed. The whole process was completed in 6 weeks. After the first several, I was feeling so much better, I had to put myself back into the frame of mind again for the sake of writing, to keep the voice the same.
   Soon, friends were asking for copies, for themselves or for others going through crises, losses, suffering. That was in 1996. An AA group in New Mexico was using it at meetings for awhile. It took on a life of its own. I did seminars on it for awhile. The notes from the seminar became the little book, Crisis?What Crisis? I distributed about a thousand copies (I know, I have the Office Max receipts) before I put it on Amazon. It's cheaper that way!
   The people who read it, love it. If you are in crisis, it will help. It helped even me. That's it. Not because of me, because it has God's truth in it.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

2 Corinthians 1:3,4

Giving it to the eternal God

2010-07-22T07:24:00.000-07:00

   While visiting my family last week, on Sunday morning we went to the church where I'd been an active member for 16 years before moving to Colorado in the early 1990s. Before we left for church, the Lord prompted me to put the copy of my little book, Crisis Survival Rations, into my purse. I had brought one copy of it, and one of Crisis? What Crisis? More about that, in the next post.
   The music was powerful. Tommy Watson's "I Will Not Be Shaken" was one of the songs--I'd never heard it before, and if you get a chance to hear it--do!   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6egSTFQLWc
(That's a link to a performance from his home church.)
   Guess what the pastor's topic was? Crisis. How people turn inward, but how they need to reach outward to others (and to God) in their distress. Guess what my book is about? Crisis. It's written in the first person for that purpose, to use that very tendency and draw a person in pain through a process of healing to God's hope and a realistic sense of his presence. All the while, it's encouraging someone to reach out to others and encourage them in their needs as well, which will encourage them as they do it.
   Well, of course, I had the whole time of the sermon to go through the testing process. First, I had to be tempted by the thought of being about to approach the pastor with my book. Yay! I might actually sell some books! What a concept. Even though I know they truly do help people, my motives might not be entirely pure. Ok. NEXT!
   Well, it was alright to approach him with the book, because the book does, indeed help people. Haven't I given at least 1000 of them away to hurting people over the years? Haven't hundreds of people told me that they have kept it by their bedsides because it helped them get through their suffering? This is just the truth. God has used this book, because he is the one who gave it to me when I needed his deep encouragement in my own crisis.
   Then, God brought to my mind how I gave the book to him the first time years ago. In humility, I prayed on Sunday, Do with it whatever you want, Lord. Take it. It's from you, and for you. For the glory of Your Name and you alone, Lord. I give it again to you now.
     By the time the sermon was over, I was ready to give the pastor the book in the right spirit, and let the Lord do what he wanted.
   When I handed the pastor my book, he instantly turned frosty (he must get a lot of them from aspiring authors), and he handed it to an assistant standing next to him. I did my best to explain that I was offering it for them to use in their counseling ministry, and that the book was exactly along the lines of what he'd been talking about. If they could use it to help people, I'd be glad to get them more copies as a ministry. I tried to explain about the other people in that church I've already shared it with, who have been blessed by it. Oh well.
   It's about HIM.
   It doesn't matter what ends up happening. It's in God's hands. I had the book with me, and shared it. That's all I was supposed to do. The rest is up to our Lord. I know he can use it if he chooses to, but that's up to him. I don't need to worry about it.
   Our God has gone ahead of you today, as he went ahead of me, preparing the way for whatever outcome he wants. What unspeakable peace to be able to rest in that truth! No need to fret or try to make things work out. He is working out the best plans--to his glory. May his Name be praised!

See, I am sending my angel ahead of you to guard you and to bring you to the place I have prepared.

Exodus 23:20

When you stay with I AM

2010-07-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

   In the last blog posting, I mentioned a wonderful reminder God had given me about the importance of staying present with him. Of course, he holds eternity past, present, and future. He transcends them all, knows them, and is in no way limited to a linear view of them the way we are; thus, he can constantly be I AM, eternally now and current. Well, I'm not trying to get too serious--God had too many treats to ahead to shower on my surprised head throughout the trip to and from my parents' house...
   When last I wrote, I was about to head to the airport. Once at the airport terminal, waiting at the gate, Something prompted me to get into a short line to check into a question I had about boarding and my layover in Salt Lake City. There was a much longer line, but I stepped into the line with only one other lady. I heard her talking to the desk agent about volunteering to get off the plane, which was overbooked. She'd have to catch a flight at 9 that night, but she was willing to give up her seat to get a direct flight to her final destination.
   Now, let me back up a moment. When my husband had booked my flight for me, we had to take what we could for a last moment fare using frequent-flyer miles. It was to an airport in Long Beach at traffic time in L.A. (ugh! for my parents), with a layover in Salt Lake City. But, it gave me a chance to visit them before I took my certification exam tomorrow. Therefore, we all accepted it.
   So, when I stepped up for my turn with this agent, I said, "Are you looking for volunteers?"
   "Yes."
   "If you can get me on an earlier direct flight into L.A., preferably into LAX or even Burbank, I'd be glad to do it."
   "Let me see what I can do," she said. She did her thing with her computer. "Yes, I can get you on a flight into LAX, arriving at 3:20."
   I called my parents' number. My mother, startled, answered. She thought for a moment. "Yes, we can do that." Great! I relayed the info to the gate agent, who printed up a voucher to take to the other airline.
   Then, she printed up an air travel voucher for $400, for being a volunteer! Does God have a sense of humor, or what? Not only did it relieve my parents of the traffic and longer drive, it relieved me of the layover and trip through the unfamiliar airport. Now, our gracious God provided a bonus to cover the airfare the trip in October to spend time with my daughter when she has her 3rd baby.
   And, of course, as I settled into my seat, I thought, what a lot of legroom. Economy Plus, too! OK, Lord, Now you're just showing off. How kind you are! To take me, battered and beaten up, and shower me with your extravagant love.
   And, my dear friends, he's doing just the same for you as you stay in his dear presence. May his Name be praised!
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20,21

An Awesome Place

2010-07-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

In that day, the Lord will rescue his people. They will sparkle in his land like jewels in a crown. How wonderful and beautiful they'll be! Zechariah 9

While looking through recent emails this morning, I came across one from a dear friend, dated July 1st. On that day I had been in the physical let-down from my intensive class, but also facing some other big challenges I can't share about at length here right now--I'm about to catch a plane to Los Angeles to visit my parents and family there.

All I can say is that very day, as my friend was praying for me, encouraging me, God was behind the scenes working to arrange wonderful, unexpected answers for my problems. I'll share more about this in the future, as I'm able, but I write this to encourage you, dear reader.

God is doing this for you as well. When you are beaten down and discouraged, and all around you looks bleak, remember that our Lord is working behind the scenes in your life to bring you out. Perhaps this is not the ultimate rescue, but it might be a resting place, an oasis. That can make all the difference in a desert, can't it?

   God was with Jacob as he laid his head on the rock for a pillow in his desert and then dreamed of angels on a ladder going into heaven. That same God is with you in yours. Like Jacob, we can say the Lord is with us, even when we don't realize it. How awesome is it with HIM here!
   And a hint about what makes it awesome: not us, not the surroundings. The Eternal Lord God who was with Jacob, and who is with you and with me.
   The great I AM. Not I WAS or I WILL BE. I AM. I have to let go of my past and not fret about my future, and stay NOW, where God is. Forever.

“Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it…How awesome is this place!” Jacob, Genesis 28

Hope, Continued

2010-07-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

   After yesterday's posting, I remembered writing about hope long ago in what became the book, Crisis Survival Rations. I'm going to share that Ration with you here, because God's truth is as true now as it was in 1996 when I wrote the first draft during a crisis in my life.
Remember your promise to me, your servant; it has given me hope. Even in my suffering I was comforted because your promises gave me life...My sufferings, Lord, are terrible indeed. Keep me alive, as you promised. Psalm 119:49,50,107
   When external pressures and pain bury my hope right now, I can rekindle my awareness of that hope by immersing myself in your promises. Hope truly does give me life. What I hope for is what I live for. It keeps me alive, even when I feel like I am being buried alive here. It is an oxygen mask of resuscitation to my suffocation. I will re-visit the promises of God that have comforted me in other times, so that I will have renewed vitality and an oxygen mask in this airless place.
Spirit of God, fill my collapsed lungs with your respiration. I cry out for your breath in my near-lifeless soul and spirit. Only you can fill me, only you can minister to my deadness with you rekindling Self. Only you can heal the parts of me that are dragged down, and crushed, and cut off from air. Take me as limp and battered as I am in this wretched place and bring me to where you want me to be.

It's all about hope

2010-07-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

This week, God was kind enough to give me a slow week to recover from the intensive class taken in the month of June. Any time you’ve poured out a large amount of adrenaline, you can expect to have a corresponding dip until your supplies re-charge. That’s the academic theory. See the wonderful book by Archibald Hart, entitled Adrenaline and Stress. Of course, all the theory all goes out the window when it’s about you, doesn’t it?

I forgot that’s what was happening, and wondered why I was feeling wrung-out and depressed, and hopeless—that last one I don’t remember feeling for a very long time, and it was truly unsettling. For awhile I prayed for help in that awful, helpless, terrifying condition. I turned to God’s word, but felt a distance between us. Please, Lord, show me, help me, we’ve always been so close, even in the worst times.

Then, finally, he opened my eyes and heart again to see what was going on. In my vulnerable state, I was having a crisis of confidence, and forgetting that hope is not an emotion in God’s terms. Just because my confidence in myself flagged this week, it was still rock solid in HIM.

As I see it throughout the Bible, hope is confident trust that what has been promised will be fulfilled. This trust includes looking forward with pleasure to that fulfillment.

He's the only one who deserves my confidence. He has proven his faithfulness again and again. The more I take my eyes off myself and fix them back on him and the future he holds for me, the more I remember the abiding trust I have in him.

He has never let me down. He is the joy-bringer to my soul in the parched and weary land. He is I AM with me now, in my pain, bringing me through every part of it. Praise his Name!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

What love in God's Name can do

2010-06-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

   Yesterday, I had the gift of seeing God's work in action through the loving hands of others. There is a wonderful place in my city run by the Little Sisters of the Poor. These nuns have devoted their lives to ministering selflessly to the blessed people who live in their retirement home. Their stated motivation is to share the love and compassion of Jesus. They are the quiet backbone of the place, and they live their sincerity in every aspect of making this place into a genuine home for their residents.
   The grounds are stunning, with beautifully-maintained gardens. The clean, fresh rooms have large windows with views of the mountains or the city. The food is excellent. The nuns select employees and volunteers to assist their beloved residents who are not only glad to be working there, but who truly care about the people they are serving. When a staff member noticed that a resident with a hard-to-please appetite was devouring the hash at breakfast, for example, that staffer quickly saved an extra serving of hash for her to eat at a later meal.
   And the result of all this? The residents live an astonishingly long time. People enter this facility with terminal cancer, and get better. People may enter in their late 70s, and live 20 years or more. I was there for the celebration of a resident's 95th birthday. She looked younger than her years, because she was living so well.
   Understandably, the waiting list for new residents is endless, because the reputation of this wonderful place continues to spread--and the people who live here aren't leaving! Who wouldn't want to stay there? To be cared for with great love, fed good food in a lovely setting--what's not to love?
   It was a breath of fresh air in an airless world to see a place where God's love is shown and poured out so sweetly. The world hungers for this, doesn't it? When God's plan is lived out, the world sees it, and wants what he offers.

How can I pour out your love, Lord today? Show me ways to be careful and attentive to the very real human needs around me. Help me to see with your eyes and your compassion, not just the people "out there," but those in my own family it's easier to overlook. Please, Lord, replace my weary heart and spirit with your eternal Spirit.
Breathe into me your newness, your energy, to your glory.

If you give yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your gloom will rise like the midday.

Isaiah 58:10

The power of presence

2010-06-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

   This past week I've had two of the three clinical rotation days for my intensive training class. Because I've already worked in elder care, it's not new to be in a medical setting, but one particular patient reminded me why just being there can make all the difference for a person who is suffering.
   Naturally, I won't give details that would violate her privacy. She is recovering from a terrible, large wound, which means that she needs to have the dressing changed and the wound cleaned. For such a large wound, this is so painful--even the morphine and other medications given to her are not enough to dull the pain as the dressing is removed and replaced. And of course it must be kept as clean and dry as possible to avoid further complications.
   The entire procedure takes about 40 minutes, an eternity for this dear, brave woman.
   The other day, God gave me the gift of being the extra person on the team changing the dressing. That meant while the nurse and the nurse assistant were doing this unbearable work, I was available to this precious, suffering woman. I stood near her, holding her hands, locking eyes, barely saying a word; she knew someone was with her, on her side, longing for it to be over. I told her to cry or yell if she needed to, squeeze my hand off if she needed to, do whatever she needed to do.
   It didn't matter what I said, God was there in our midst as I prayed for him to carry her pain and help this poor, precious child of his. She told me later how much it helped to have me there with her, "Like having my mom with me--" her mother has been dead for several years, so this was comforting to her, of course. Thank you, Lord.
   I've been praying for her all week, since I couldn't be there for the follow-up dressing changes she will require for the long time it takes to heal completely. My heart aches for her, as I know God's heart aches for each of us with our own open wounds.
   Hers are visible. The ones we carry on our hearts and minds are really no different, are they? Our wounds need to be cleaned out and we need to make changes. Sometimes, it can be incredibly painful. We suffer greatly for many reasons.
   This lady showed me again the difference one person can make to be simply, quietly, lovingly present for one who is in agony, when that person comes in the Spirit of the Living and Loving God.
P.S. I hope it's clear that I go very humbly forward onto sacred ground. God poured out his love on this dear child of his, and I was able to touch her in his place. I stand in awe of him.

Now when Job's three friends heard all of this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place...For they had made an appointment to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.

Job 2: 11-13

Back in the saddle again

2010-06-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

   For those who've noticed, I've been away. Have any of you ever taken what is described as an Intensive Class? This one truly lived up to the name. I was consumed with reading, doing reports, case studies, and take-home exams.
   15 weeks of a course packed into 11 class days. It should have been 12 days, but we had a power failure on one day and the entire building was shut down--with police officers standing at the main entrances, no less.
   Now we have three days of the clinical portion of the course, after which we can apply for the licensing exams. I've been to the first day, which meant working in a hospital with actual patients, something I've done before this class (in another job). This is the part I love, the reason I've been going through training.
   During these intense weeks, my dear husband has been keeping the house stocked with energy drinks and daily checking on whatever other needs I might have from textbooks to foodstuffs. This has been a huge gift. I have really, truly appreciated having these needs met so I could focus on the demands of the class.
   I have, however, been so consumed with surviving the course that I have lost track of the fact that I have not made it clear to him how much his ongoing, daily kindness has meant to me. Not until the end of the course did he finally, gently, say something to me.
   He and I both know I know better. But this time, my actions did not reach to his heart, and it hurt him not to hear that I recognized and cared about his remembering me, his displays of love.
   I've talked about celebrating the small things, and I was overlooking a man who treasures me! Break out the PARTY SANDWICHES! (see the blog entry label celebrate)
   My dear husband, who still loves me, has forgiven me. I hope I've made it clear to him how much I do cherish all he has done and continues to do to support me.
   Now, we can all make the parallels to our relationships with the Lord. Of course we all know to celebrate his love and faithful care. But how easy to get wrapped up in our intensive lives and forget to mention TO HIM the specifics of what we love about what he's done for us and why.
   Take a moment and mention one or two back to him. You'll be refreshed again in your wonder of who he is.

The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; he will be with you.

He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

And God said, My presence shall go with you,

and I will give you rest.

Exodus 33:14

One more excerpt from the novel: on the Language of Suffering

2010-06-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,
Because of the positive response to the last entry, I'll share one more passage with you from my novel, Breakdown in Denver. The book shares my philosophy of counseling, life, and the rest, through the narrator and his therapy with Rocco. The two have just made some important discoveries about their lives.

   All others who have not been to this place of sorrow will just skate on the surface, and say nice things, thinking they understand. We know, Rocco and I. In our very DNA strands, we are joined by the worst of experiences, by blood and by pain. We speak the language of the heartbroken. Only those who have loved and lost can speak it. It is the language of grief.
   It is a secret language that, once learned, is never forgotten. Once learned, it can be shared in a glance, or a touch, or the single right word to another who speaks the language. It is universal and powerful. It is only learned by experience, and it is learned at high cost. No one ever pays it willingly.
   But if you have learned it, use it well. Don't waste it on those who will never understand your words. Pour it out instead on those who are longing to hear it spoken to them in their times of bitterest need. Their hearts are aching for you to speak that language of recognition to them in their aloneness. Speak it now.

When we can speak truth from our suffering to another person who is in pain, we both benefit. Some of us are in wrenchingly painful times right now, facing decisions we never thought we'd have to make. But when God uses our sisters and brothers to share the truth and experience from what he has taught them, they speak his words to us. We need to hear God's words from his Bible of course. We also need to hear from each other when we're beaten down.

Have you ever tried speaking the language of grief to someone who doesn't understand? They're not in the right place to hear. Ok. Don't push it. Some will never understand the language. Talking louder in a language people don't understand just frustrates both of you!

When someone is ready to hear your story, or tell your theirs, let God lead you, and let your pain be translated into compassion to the glory of God.  They'll soak it up like sand in the desert.

When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow.

Romans 12:15

It's now out on Amazon http://amzn.to/b4nD4T

Sneak Preview

2010-05-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers: This blog entry is actually more than an advertisement, so hang in there!

My first novel, Breakdown in Denver, is about to be released in the next few weeks. It's a comic novel about serious topics, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and God's control of the universe, and a mystery.

The narrator, Doc Johansson, is distracted, depressed, and alienated from God over the recent death of his wife. Reluctantly he agrees to treat Rocco Cohane, lead singer of the Bleeding Werewolves rock band, who thinks he’s turning into a werewolf. Rocco’s fellow band members create a diversion while Doc and Rocco escape from the paparazzi to save what’s left of Rocco’s sanity.

Here's some of Doc's philosophy (which is mine, although Doc is leaving out God at this point):

Picture the inside of your adult brain as your eccentric maiden aunt’s attic: filled with dusty, sheet-covered, lumpy ephemera from you and your relatives. Your challenge is to pull off the dust covers to unearth the treasures hidden beneath your family trappings, as well as the joys and pains of your own that you’ve accumulated along your journey.

There might be priceless heirlooms in your attic, assets which have been unknown to you for ages. You’ve hungered to find these, for years and years. There are also moose heads and tasteless hat racks, taking up valuable square footage. These you can unload at the dump, or give them to Goodwill. You have the choice, once you have taken inventory. Until you did, your riches were essentially useless beneath the dust covers, or lost under the junk piles and old magazines.

There might also be toxic mold, contaminating and endangering your most valued treasures. You may need a professional to clean the toxin out, but the first step is to find it under the piles where it’s been working against you in the darkness. Once you have found it, you can do whatever you must to stop it, to free yourself from its poison.

No matter what happened to you in your life, once you begin to realize the full extent of what you do still have left in your attic to work with, you can start living again, afresh. Not that it’s easy or simple. But it is an adventure worth taking.

It may take a long time, but you learn that you will not be, cannot ever be the same person you were before tragedy or loss hit you. The new person you are can be strong, and more beautiful, because of your pain. Not despite the pain. No, not at all. Because of it.

That’s what has kept me in the profession, all these years. Taking inventory and finding what is still good; giving people back their hope. You can look at your past as baggage to drag you down, or as supplies for your daily battle. You choose. It weighs the same, and you’re carrying it, either way. The only difference is your attitude.

You don’t need me to explain what was going on in Rocco’s brain. The poisons were thick enough, even he knew about them.

Doc's wife's faith is much more apparent in her philosophy:

It’s so easy for us to live our lives waiting on-hold for the next new big thing, never even noticing what we have. We’re never satisfied with the storehouses full of what we’ve already got, like kids looking in a full refrigerator complaining that there’s nothing to eat.
See who God really is. Look at what you still have in him, no matter what has happened to you, good or bad. Focusing on what you've lost keeps you miserable. Give God what's still left in your inventory. He can multiply loaves and fishes—and you.
Simple and basic, I know, but the truth has to be simple enough for everyone to have a chance. How could it be fair, otherwise? The God I know is not willing to exclude anyone from his love. Sure, elitists don’t get to feel superior that way, but get over it.
Anyone who has read this blog for very long knows if you put the two together, they sum up my philosophy for finding meaning in hard times. The difference between a heavy load and supplies for the journey is perspective. Even God cannot force you to change that. It's one of the few things only you have complete control over in this world.
Another is prayer. Put them together and you can change your world.
In the day of my trouble, I shall call upon thee, for thou wilt answer me. Psalm 86:7

Perspectives

2010-05-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

   I don't think I've spoken here about the Prodigal Son parable, but it's been on my mind lately. You've probably heard sermons about it so many times you glaze over at the thought, but let's try once more, for old times' sake.
   As a younger person, I really identified with the older brother, as the older sister of brothers who were acting out. They seemed to command much more attention for their misbehavior than I did for good behavior, good grades, outwardly good life. I didn't have enough perspective to realize that by judging them, I was demonstrating my own need for the Father's forgiveness, of course.
   The older I become, the more I understand that each of us plays all the roles in the story at different times in our lives.
   I've played the heartsick parent, for example, when a relationship with one of my children was not right with God or with me. It gives me a tiny insight into how the Lord's heart must grieve over us when we're apart from him. I cannot begin to imagine what his sorrow is like over an entire world with its back turned on him.
   Every single day, I'm more aware of how much a Prodigal I myself am in comparison with God's standards of holiness. Without his mercy, we all deserve to be separated from him forever. This parable is enough to keep me in a state of constant humility before my God and my fellow man. How could I, as a Prodigal, ever judge anyone else's status be fore the Lord?
   In Luke 15:17, when the Prodigal came to his senses, he realized that what he'd held in such indifference his whole life was better than the misery he'd brought upon himself in a foreign country. He returned, now offering to work as a hired hand for his father--his youthful arrogance long gone in the light of real life experience. That's a great place to start: low expectations for what you deserve to receive, and high expectations for God's mercy and grace.
   Because all of us are Prodigals, we can feel the blessing of the Father's response:

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. "

But the father said to his servants, "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." So they began to celebrate. (Luke 15: 20-24)

Which role are you playing at this time in your life? Where is God in your perspective? Whoever, wherever, may the knowledge of our Lord's blessing reach you where you need it most. To him be the glory!

Now, which plan IS it by now?

2010-05-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking of how many times my life direction has changed over the years. Forget about Plan B. This has got to be more like Plan X or Y. Here is a partial list of paid positions I have held in my lifetime:

camp counselor
bookkeeper at that campground
waitress, dishwasher, cashier, restaurant purchasing clerk
recipe pricing project team member
retail sales clerk & assistant manager (twice--2 different stores)
doctor's office receptionist & insurance clerk
French teacher, substitute teacher, tutor, teacher's aide, art docent
Kelly girl
vision therapist
marriage & family therapist
trainer for butlers & nannies
editor & writer
elder care provider, hospice worker
game show contestant (!) --I've been on 4 shows, including Jeopardy (came in 2nd; won $2000); on another show I won more than $21,000. God can provide ANY way he likes!
owner of a floral design business, & owner of a jewelry business
pianist for parties, wedding receptions, etc.

   Trying to come up with a resume that covers my interests, skills, and talents is, um, challenging. I'm really good with many things, but I'm terrible at selling myself to the gatekeepers of businesses sight unseen. I know: join the hordes in the same position these days.
   Which probably is why I can't even get a call-back on a job to carry the meal trays at a local hospital. Third generation in a food-service family, 7 years of working in the family cafeteria through high school and college, and I can't carry a tray?
   The problem is, I can't get past all the other unemployed people for a chance to show my worth. So, on to Plan X. Take another class to get the certificate to make me employable.
   What a blessed relief I don't need no stinking certificate to prove my worth to my loving God. I don't need to take another class with my rickety and persnickety brain to stand out in a crowd. He looked at the whole crowded world and said I was worth dying for.
   And what an inexpressible gift to know that God is still on Plan A for my life. No matter what my overflowing drawing board looks like, he's not at all confused about my future.
   I might be casting about, wondering if my retirement plan includes paying off student loans in my late 60's, but he is God Almighty. Maker of heaven and earth. He spoke and it was so. Surely, my future is in safe hands. Yours is as well.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Truth or consequences

2010-05-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

   I was in Genesis 12 this morning. I was reading about Abraham and Sarah (they were still Abram and Sarai at this point in their lives). Abraham and Sarah were moving to Egypt for awhile to leave a famine in the land of Canaan, where God had called him to go.
   I've noticed so many fresh parts of this story on the gazzillionth time through it. God did not direct them to go to Egypt. This was Abraham's idea. So was the idea of passing Sarah off as Abraham's sister, which was essentially sending his own wife into Pharoah's harem. [I've written about this in another blog. You can check it out in the older posts from last year. Sarah had beauty treatments from God's hormones--read it for a chuckle!]
   Abraham acted selfishly and out of outrageous expediency, apparently caring nothing about the fact that he was giving his wife to another man. In verse 13, he shows his thought for his immediate ego--and not just safety: "Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you."
   Our God cared more for Sarah than her husband did: "But the Lord inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram's wife Sarai. So Pharaoh summoned Abram. 'What have you done to me?' he said, 'Why didn't you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, "She is my sister," so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!'
   What an embarrassing time for God: when a superstar, Hall of Famer for the Lord had to be lectured by a man who did not even believe.
   One of the "gifts" Abraham received from the Egyptians turned out to be Hagar. The centuries of unrest that resulted from that union is one consequence of Abraham's trying to take the easy and dishonest way out of his problem. Yes, Sarah was his half-sister, but she was more importantly his wife.
   People lie because they don't like what they think will happen when they tell the truth. Abraham was wrong about what did happen. For all his faith, he was afraid to trust God to take care of him in Egypt. He did trust God for some really big things in his life, but at other times, his fears took over, and he fell in the same old way all over again.
   Sound familiar? Praise the Lord! He's kind enough to show us that stained glass figures are human beings. This hero of faith is just as flawed are we are. When we fail again and again, we can come right back to our loving Lord and know he understands. We may need to confess to the people we've hurt along the way, but we are forgiven, whether we feel it or not.
   Look in the New Testament, and you will see no mention of Abraham's failures. They are gone and forgotten by God, because when he forgives, he removes our guilt as far as the east is from the west.
   Start thanking him for the love he shows you and start showing mercy to those other imperfect people around you.

Celebrate!

2010-04-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

   If you have looked on the sidebar at the Blogs I Follow link, you will see my daughters' blogs. The "girls" refer sometimes to a way of living we all worked on together when they were young: celebrating every event we could think of.
   I also tried to instill in them that no matter how draining or discouraging one day might be, we always had a fresh start on the next morning. As the Lord says in Lamentations, his faithful mercies are refreshed every morning.
   Therefore sometimes, we simply celebrated a new day or a new month. Try it--you'd be surprised how encouraging a mini-party can be at low tide.
   My three daughters were all born within a span of 38 months. Our life was a 24/7 daycare center for awhile. One late afternoon in the thick of the chaos, when the atmosphere was getting grim, I turned to the girls and said, "Who can think of something funny?"
   "An orange wearing socks," said Catherine, not missing a beat. Perfect! Party sandwiches, anyone?
   [As a side note, I received an exasperated phone call from a little friend's mother, who desperately needed to know what party sandwiches were. Mary Kathryn refused to eat regular sandwiches anymore at her house. She insisted that her mother make party sandwiches. I gave her mother the recipe: peanut butter (or any kind of sandwiches) cut up into quarters and called party sandwiches. Ta Da! On the other hand, butterfly sandwiches are cut diagonally and arranged so they look like butterflies--point to point (2 on a plate). Marketing is key with picky 2-year-olds. But I digress.]
   God calls us to lives of celebration, and not merely when times are easy. I would say, especially when times are not easy.
   Isn't that what praise is? Praise is an act of the will.I know. Like duh. The attitude of gratitude is more than a platitude. In the midst of crops failing and the olive tree not producing, Habakkuk 3:17 says, "I will joy in the God of my salvation."
   Choosing to rejoice in the midst of pain is not only an act of the will, it is a brave act of faith and trust. Trust that HE who promised to bring you out to the other side has a reason for all that he does. He is never surprised by what happens on earth. He has the whole of history in his view.
   Faith is seeing who the staggeringly awesome God we worship is, and realizing what he has done--and is constantly doing on our behalf.
   The opposite of praise is worse than ingratitude; it is leaving to waste all the riches of our Almighty Father. He has extravagantly given us more than we can ask or think, yet we barely tap into the surface of our riches. How reckless, how shabby, with our gift bought at such high cost.
   The more we thank him and celebrate what we have, and who he is, the more honor we bring to him. Start recognizing the wealth of his goodness, his glory, his power showered upon you, and celebrate!
Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you...and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

Isaiah 60:11

One year, one day

2010-04-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

Today marks the first anniversary of this blog. It is also the eleventh anniversary of Columbine shooting, the day after my birthday, three days after my eleventh anniversary, a Tuesday, the 20th of April.

As I have said before, God makes days big enough to hold all their events--good, horrifying, or miraculous. Yes, of course the same day can hold all. We saw that at Columbine: stunning, heroic acts by students and teachers in the midst of the chaos and insanity of the shooters. We saw that in the firemen of the World Trade Center who went rushing up the Towers' stairs, as they gave up their lives trying to rescue others.

Surely God alone understands the mystery of how days can stretch to hold the full range of what they must hold. As we look back at our lives, certain days stand out as life changers, and those are the ones we remember--or some painful ones we might want to forget. Again, they are all part of the mix.

What are our lives but a series of days? How comforting and hopeful it is to rest in my God, who knows all the parts of all my days. To know that he has gone before me and is the Maker of my day, no matter what it holds: that gives me peace, even in the hardest times or the best of times. I can rest in him, no matter what. I can rejoice and be glad, with tears in my eyes or a song bursting forth. The God who spoke the universe into being is holding my day. That is more than good enough for me.

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Wearing God's Protection

2010-04-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Psalm 91:4

On the day of her wedding, my daughter, Marianne, and I did all the usual countless errands. We stopped to have our make-up done professionally, then our hair. She had the foresight to wear a dress that opened with buttons down the front, so she wouldn't risk disturbing all the hours of work as we arrived at the church to make our final preparations.

The photographer's assistant (her cousin) came into her dressing room at the church to give us our five-minute notice, and we still had details left to finish. We quickly unbuttoned her regular dress, slipped her arms out, and pulled it down, then eased the bridal gown over her head, carefully avoiding Marianne's hair and make-up. She looked so beautiful.

Throughout the afternoon and evening, she thought of last-minute things she needed to remember for the honeymoon. She left notes for her sisters, including one that said, "Has anyone seen my red plaid dress?" We all looked for it. The groom checked the car. We looked through boxes, suitcases, everywhere, and were completely stumped.

Later, after the wedding and the reception, the bride and groom went to change into their going-away outfits. Marianne came out laughing. "I found the red plaid dress!"

As she had unbuttoned it hours before, Marianne hadn't stepped out of the red dress, she had worn it from the waist down, underneath the wedding dress throughout the wedding and the party. The gown was full enough that the dress was hidden--I know, because we've all checked the pictures!

You and I wear God's promises all day long. We have them for armor and protection everywhere we go, and we can wear them joyfully, filled with the blessings they bring. Whether or not you remember. Praise his Name!

The Eternal and the Everyday

2010-04-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

As I write this on Good Friday, I remember once again the eternal gift Jesus gave to us on the cross. Praise God the story doesn't end with Friday and the cross. We have the empty tomb to rejoice over on Easter Sunday morning.

It is indeed well with my soul. My eternity is set, and God is in control. There is a however niggling at me in my everyday life these days. That is real life, isn't it? Like a mosquito, buzzing around my ears.

Those of you who have read this blog since February will remember that I spent some time hooked up to eeg electrodes for monitoring. It turned out that I'm not even having seizures, or they are too small to pick up from outside electrodes--great news! Here's the however: every one of the twenty-something spots that had an electrode and the glue to hold it in place is now either bald or going bald. The bald spots are circles, ranging in size from quarters to half-dollars.

My story certainly isn't as drastic it would be for chemotherapy hair loss, but it helps me have compassion for the brave ladies who endure baldness on top of the other side effects of chemo. If I give my hair a tug, it comes out in a few loose hairs at a time. When I wash it, the water is filled with the hairs that are still falling out. I use a skimmer to clear them before draining the tub, so we don't get a hairball in the pipes.

When I finally admitted to myself that this would be going on for months, I went online and bought a wig. It looked pretty good, but then I wondered if people could tell. Hey, I'm still a normal female! Feedback so far: Two gals wanted to know where I'd gotten my hair cut--that felt good. Another friend said, "Oh, you got a wig!" Oops.

What makes this tricky is that I'm in the process of looking for a job. I have to compete for the few jobs available with "normal" people who have regular hair, of course. I don't want recruiters to rule me out as fragile or damaged, and I especially don't want to explain about a wig.

As time is going by, though, I'm now making a sort of peace with whatever happens. If people can tell, so be it. Much of my hair is gone. I am wearing a wig many days, and some people will notice. It is what it is. My desire to control my appearance will have to go away--at least for now. God will provide for our needs as he always has. This is one more way to trust him.

My male readers may wonder what the big deal is. I have one thing to say: comb-over. If that particular indignity has not happened to you, guys, you've fought some other battle with the relentless force of your body working against you. It might be a belt that is too snug, tired blood, or creaky joints refusing to cooperate any more. If you're really lucky, it might be all of the above!

We all have our battles, some more serious than others. Our Lord died for our real lives. I'll go to church on Easter Sunday, wearing my wig and rejoicing that my Lord and Savior died for the big and the small issues of my real life. I can rejoice that even though I have a brain tumor, the only problem it's causing me at the moment is baldness. It could be a lot worse. Praise God!

I am a child of the Most High God. Jesus laid his life down so you and I could spend eternity with him. We can all rejoice in the midst of the big battles and the small ones, and not be afraid to take him all our burdens. Praise his Name!

In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.

Ephesians 1:7

And he himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by his wounds you were healed.

1 Peter 2:24

He truly understands

2010-03-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he began to be filled with horror and deep distress. He told them, "My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and watch with me."

Mark 14:33, 34

As we lead up to Easter on our calendar, it's always good to let ourselves review again what Jesus took on for our sakes. There's a reason that the gospels give so much detail about Jesus' actual suffering, and I believe at least part of it is to help us understand that he himself has known the full extent of any pain we might feel.

If you've ever had a terrible loss in your life, you know that aching, crushing heaviness in your heart and soul that Jesus is describing here to his friends. He longed for their support and physical presence to comfort and be with him as he faced the desperate hours ahead.

Did his friends stand by him? We all know the answer to that. Well, yes and no. They were there in body only. Jesus' dearest, most trusted friends let him down when he asked very specifically for only one thing: stay awake and pray. At one time or another, we have all been in the position of Jesus asking for help, or in the disciples' position of letting down our loved one, haven't we?

Jesus shared his anguish with his friends, and asked for their support. Then they had to be awakened to greet Judas and the guards when they came to arrest Jesus. So, when his friends failed him, was Jesus left alone in his agony?

Of course not. Don't forget the rest of the story. In Luke 22:42,43, after Jesus prayed, "Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine," an angel appeared and strengthened him. When humans were not able to step up and give Jesus the support he needed, God intervened.

God did provide comfort and strength for Jesus in that terrible night, just as he has always been there for you and for me. God will minister to you when loved ones fail, whether through his Word, or through prayer, a stranger, or an even angel. He will be as faithful to lift us from our pain as he is to lift us from our sin. He has saved us to the uttermost. Praise his Name!

Courage in hope

2010-03-24T08:44:00.000-07:00

You will have courage because you will have hope. You will take your time, and rest in safety. You will lie down unafraid and many will look to you for help.

Job 11:18,19

Take your time and rest in safety for a few minutes to re-consider these promises. Move in and take a vacation for awhile.

In context, these words were spoken by one of Job's friends who ended up not understanding the grand cosmic picture of what was happening with Job. That makes some people discount them. Yet they were absolutely true for Job, and they are true for you. People have looked to him for hope and help in their despair ever since his story was written.

You will have courage because you will have hope. It's so easy to forget that hope is not an emotion. Praise God! We all know how our emotions get bounced around by the events of our lives, even for those of us who have been believers a long time.

Most of you reading this know that hope is confidence and trust that what was promised to us is on its way. Our daily lives, however, can dim that confidence, or distract us. We only have that trust if we remember Who made the promise, and that we really can rely on him. God is not only the giver of hope, he is our hope. It's too easy to forget him when we get overwhelmed or overloaded.

What we hope for is what we live for. Are you hoping for less than you used to, because you're afraid to trust for more? Has your hope eroded--even a little--from recent events in your life? You can lose your hope all at once or so slowly you didn't even realize it was inching away.

Or, worse, we can take our hope for granted. We can live our lives the same way, not treasuring the hope we have, that Jesus paid such a high price to give us. At this Easter time, how dare we forget the price he paid.

I'm reminded of a recent post, "The Source of Our Confidence," taken from Hebrews 6. I recently re-read the passage in light of this topic of hope. Here is Hebrews 6:17-19a:

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We may have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

Why not take the elements of the verses from Job and Hebrews and pray one or more of them back to God? Sure, these are basic, but so is oxygen.

Thank you, Lord, for the hope you have given me through your Son, and put into my heart and life, even when I'm not feeling it.
Help me to act with your courage and boldness in your strength, to your glory.
Show me how to slow down and take my time with you and your word.
Help me realize I can rest in safety when I'm resting in you.
Take away my fears and fill me with your Spirit.
Let me be someone who can help others; let me tell them how you brought me through this.

O God our help in ages past, our help in days to come.
Our shelter in the stormy blast, and our eternal home.

When your loved ones don't understand

2010-03-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

When Jesus returned to the house where he was staying, the crowds began to gather again, and soon he and his disciples couldn't even find time to eat. When his family heard what was happening, they tried to take him home with them. "He's out of his mind," they said.

Mark 3:20,21

You expect your family and friends to see your best self, or at least to give you the benefit of the doubt if they don't understand what you're doing. You think they will see the best of your intentions and your actions. Surely, they of all people, will see you for who you really are!

If you are like Jesus, however, you will have times when you are sadly disappointed by your family. Because they are so close to you, it hurts all the more when what they think is so horribly wrong about your motives or your behavior.

Well, the good news is that you are in great company. If Jesus, God the Son, could be completely misunderstood by his earthly relatives, then you shouldn't be surprised when it happens to you. This truth doesn't begin to take away the sting when it happens, but at least you can know you are not alone. He has walked in these pain-filled steps before you, and he walks with you through them.

Look again at the verses above. Jesus relatives thought he was crazy, while he was carrying out the very ministry he had been destined to perform by God the Father, and fulfilling the prophecies made about him. His mother had been part of his supernatural birth--how could she try to squeeze him into a small life?

Sometimes those people who should see you the most clearly are the

most blind to your greatest strengths. Strangers and friends may see in an instant the treasure inside you, while your family overlooks it entirely. You may have to let go of a false hope that your family will "get" you if you can just make them see who you really are. You just may never be able to do it. I'm sorry.

No wonder, later in Mark 3, when Jesus was told that his family was there to see him, he essentially said, "Who is my family? Those who do my will are my family!" To go on with your life, you might have to accept your friends as God's apology for your genetic family.

Don't give up on your family, though. Remember who was at the crucifixion. Most of the disciples deserted Jesus that day. His dear friend, John, and his mother were willing to stand by him in his agony. God raised the two of them up to give the gift of their presence to Jesus at his worst moment. Mary's heart and her actions were able to align to support her son no matter the cost.

You and I have misunderstood our dearest relatives, just as they have misunderstood us. We're as prone to mistaking their motives, missing their strengths, misjudging their actions as they are. We all need to go before the Lord, and ask for ways to make things right with our families, and daily ask for ways to keep things right. God has given us the families we have for a reason, just as he gave Jesus his family.

Lord, show me the treasure that you see in each member of my family. Give me understanding for them. Thank you for your understanding of every one of us.

Joy as a verb

2010-03-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

Habakkuk 3:19

Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Nehemiah 8:10

Have you ever noticed how much more strength you have when you are joyful? Perhaps you've noticed how beaten-down and powerless you feel when you're sad. Of course, you don't choose the circumstances that surround you, and you can't expect to feel joyful all the time when you are in the midst of grief or suffering.

My Auntie Grace was one of the most joy-filled people I've ever seen. I first met her at my grandfather, Clifford's, funeral. She was rejoicing that her dear brother was now with the Lord he loved. Her cheeriness inspired so much fun in the hearse, the somber driver didn't quite know how to react to us.

We all still missed Clifford terribly. We were still grieving, but Grace infected us with the joy of the Lord, and we shared it that afternoon despite our pain, and rejoiced freely.

With her life, she showed one of God's powerful tools for coping with suffering. Choosing to rejoice is not a Band-aid, pretending that you're not hurting. Rejoicing is instead taking your eyes off yourself and moving them on to the God who created you, restores you, rescues you.

Rejoicing is a powerful act of seeing who God is, seeing what he has already done, and giving him credit for it--praise. The simple act of getting your focus off yourself and onto him will make you feel better, no matter what else is going on. But when you are then reminded of WHO he is, you will become stronger and more genuinely full of hope.

As you can imagine, rejoicing is a powerful weapon against satan (intentionally not capitalized). The last thing that old serpent wants is for God to get honor, and the second to the last is for you to have joy. If the only things you can think of to rejoice about are that chocolate isn't poisonous and that baldness isn't illegal--there's your start.

Then, move on to his love for you.

Sparkle plenty

2010-03-04T07:31:00.000-08:00

When that day arrives, the Lord their God will rescue his people, just as a shepherd rescues his sheep. They will sparkle in his land like jewels in a crown. How wonderful and beautiful they will be!

Zechariah 9:16, 17 a

Ready to sparkle? Ready to shine? God's rescue is coming, in his time and in his way. Hold onto this hope, because:

Hope gives you something to keep living for.
You'll be watching for his rescue. --And, if you are one in ten,
You'll give him thanks afterward, knowing he's the Rescuer.

Sometimes, there is truth in silliness.

Have you heard the old joke about the woman who waited so long for her ship to come in that her pier collapsed? Why would a pier collapse, anyway? Because she didn't maintain it, and she let it get run-down. Don't ever stop maintaining your faith, your relationship with God. Don't let your expectations of God's greatness on your behalf get lower as time goes by.

There's another joke about the man who said, "When my ship finally came in, I was at the airport!" We have to make sure we're at the right place for God to work in our lives. Where would that be? At his side, in his presence, trusting him to bring us out of our current trouble and make us sparkle like a jewel in his crown.

Keep your expectations fresh and polished in the hope of his deliverance, because the God who spoke the universe into being is coming to rescue you. How wonderful and beautiful you will be!

He is with you

2010-02-24T08:30:00.000-08:00

If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.

Psalm 139:9,10

Wouldn't you love to ride away on the wings of the morning sometimes? Riding on the wings of the morning sounds like a country-western song, but what a lovely picture it makes. Think of getting away from everyone and everything else for a little while, knowing that the God you love would still be guiding and supporting you with his faithful, strong hand.

My father's father had that experience in a literal geographic sense. He wrote about it in a series of letters while sitting on the edge of the Ngorongoro Crater in Africa:

"The sun was setting. It was as though we sat together on a ridge of a crater on the moon. To get to this cool spot, near the Equator, we drove hundreds of miles across dry, hot plains in Tanganyika, crossed the tip of the Serengeti Plains while giraffe, ostrich, and many members of the antelope family stared at our Land Rover, unafraid, as we passed. As the heat of the lowlands and of the sun dropped away, our spirits soared."

Then my grandfather wrote, as he sat in that farthest-off spot, how he remembered God's hand at work in his life: from childhood in San Francisco all the way to China with his parents; on to a ministry through his restaurant business in Los Angeles [see other blog post]; and finally, to visiting Albert Schweitzer in Africa. God had been a guiding presence wherever he went.

I've lived a much smaller life, less glamorous or noteworthy, with far lower mileage than my beloved grandfather. But my God is the same. And he is the same for you.

No matter where you go, your God is always there, ahead of you, preparing a place for you, sustaining you. Take a few moments and fly away. Know that he is with you.

The Source of our confidence

2010-02-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

So God has given us both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can take new courage, for we can hold on to his promise with confidence. This confidence is like a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain of heaven into God's inner sanctuary.

Hebrews 6:18,19

The salad spinners of our daily lives can keep our emotions in steady turmoil. Good news? Hooray--we're winners! Bad news? We're losers. We're constantly deciding our deepest sense of worth based on the world around us and our feelings at the moment. We're left without any serenity in our hearts.

More, we feel unworthy of joining God in the inner sanctuary. The curtain of the past seems like a barrier--we forget that Jesus tore it from top to bottom with his death on the Cross, ripping open that Holiest of Holies to all who believe.

You may not feel as if you are in God's inner sanctuary right now--or ever--but here is the good news: the reality of God's promises depend on him, not your feelings. Have you fled to him? As a believer, indeed you already have. Your confidence is based on his trustworthiness, not your beaten-down self. Praise God!

Without him as an anchor for my soul, I can't begin to imagine my life. Just like you, I am a superstar to God, but I am a spectacular doofus as well. I can be on-fire one moment, then slogged down and frustrated the next. Just when I think I have aced something, a new glaring weakness will hit me in the face. No worries about staying humble.

God never promises what he cannot fulfill for you. Anchor your soul in the confidence of this God, who has already brought you into his inner circle, whether you feel it or not. Your pain, your failures will never keep you from him--unless you let them.

He has pulled the curtain aside, and he himself welcomes you in, today, tomorrow, and forever. Flee to him for refuge, and take new courage by anchoring yourself in his promises. To him be the glory!

Still reigning!

2010-02-15T09:31:00.000-08:00

News bulletin: Our God still reigns, even though the results of the neurological "events" in my head are inconclusive. Well, alert the media--God, the God who spoke the universe into being, is in charge of those pesky little guys playing pranks upstairs? Knock me over with a feather!

Yes, friends. Our powerful and loving Lord has chosen to humble me once again, by not granting clear-cut answers about what is happening. You know how you take your car to the mechanic and it stops doing what you complain about?

This way of answering our prayers leaves the docs wondering if my symptoms are mainly the result of stress, migraines, and/or something beyond seizures. Lord, I'll follow you into the fire, but am I willing to be embarrassed for you before the doctors? Hmm. That's really painful.

I already knew I'm under a lot stress, and the seizure-like symptoms have only added to that stress. I've been trying to live a normal life, and go into a training program for a new career using my remaining skills to bring in additional income. That would reduce a great cause of stress--longterm financial--yet the Swiss cheese memory challenges and whatever causes these seizure symptoms have increasingly interfered with my efforts to move forward.

Adding the blood clot in my lungs over Thanksgiving--stress induced?--and the inflammation of the lining of my brain over Christmas from leaking cerebrospinal fluid forced my withdrawal from my training program for a year. My orignal hope was to get all this under control, so I could go back to my life.

Now, I'm saying, Lord, it's all yours. Do with it as you will. If you have to break me down before my heart will be right, then so be it. You know my pride, my desire for control. You know my needs. It's all in your hands. Take every part. Again. I'm sorry for trying to do your work by myself. I give it all to you.

This I can know for sure: That our God can be trusted to know my brain down to the last neuron, and that he will get me whatever help I need in the fullness of time. While the doctors may have what looks like a temporary setback or delay, God surely is not limited by time.

God is never in a rush, but he has never been late, either. There's a truth to keep you warm on a cold afternoon.

How about you, dear Reader? Do you have anything you need to hand over to our Lord today, this week?

So God has given us both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can take new courage, for we can hold on to his promise with confidence. This confidence is like a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain of heaven into God's inner sanctuary.

Hebrews 6:18,19

Update from the front

2010-02-08T06:37:00.000-08:00

News bulletin from the front: Our God reigns. From the outermost reaches of space to the innermost neurons of my brain. Our loving Lord is again bringing help to my brain in his time and his way.

For those of you just joining us, I've finished four nights in the hospital waiting for three measurable "events" (seizures) from the same part of my brain to coincide with symptoms on an eeg tracing. I'm hooked up with 25 multicolored wires on my skull and cheek, along with an ekg sensor on my chest.

There's a workstation that looks like a giant whose head is the 360-degree camera that watches me 24/7 (night vision as well). The neck would be a solid pole that runs down the whole unit, to which everything else attaches. The chest is the TV monitor, and if you turn it on, it looks rather like a seismograph, with the tracings recording every tremor in the landscape of my brain. It also kind of looks like an Etch-A-Sketch, since it clears every time it passes over itself again, so it becomes mesmerizing to watch how wildly the needles bounce around when I laugh, or chew, or blink.

But those activities are on the outside. The electrodes are near to them. I'm now understanding better why the little 1-second long enhanced squiggle from the area over the right temporal lobe was so faint. The doctor showed me this tracing which was about as good as we have so far, which happened when I was playing computer memory game which made me confused and unable to remember the simplest tasks.

But God is the Designer of that brain, isn't he? He isn't stumped by how to demonstrate any kind of activity if he wants to. As the One who made the neurons, I think he can handle the eeg. How about the life? Can I trust him--and remember to trust him? Well I may need sticky notes to remind me. Or a love letter. The best possible one. Available all the time, with promises of hope.

So far, God's message has been to glorify him in suffering, to show that his grace is sufficient in my weakness. He has flooded me with his peace through this process, and he is carrying me through, no matter how it unfolds. How about you?

Then your light will break out like the dawn, and your recovery will speedily spring forth; and your righteousness will go before you; the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Isaiah 58:8

One specific way

2010-01-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

For those who think my blog is too generic these days, here is a specific way God is working in my life.

I have a brain tumor. It is benign, and therefore absolutely not as serious as the rampaging malignant ones. Very true. However, it has turned my life upside down, just as challenges in your lives have brought havoc to you. My hands have a permanent tremor. I can no longer play the piano, a huge loss. The most painful part of this loss is no longer being able to play the music I've written since I was a young teenager. And, after 20 years, I can no longer practice as a marriage and family therapist, because doing therapy brings on seizures.

The part of my brain that has to do with creativity, memory, and music is now very grumpy. It punishes me with partial seizures of nausea, vertigo, and confusion when I try to do anything my brain considers off limits. The experience is miserable and the list increases by the day: working puzzles, making jewelry, copying diagrams from the board in class last semester, on and on. Carrying on a conversation that includes one of several types of memory. Yikes.

Well, how God is working comes down to an upcoming stay in the hospital to evaluate brain waves and brain activity during these unpleasant seizures. This is a step toward treatment of the problem.

I've actually had this happen before, without "success." Five days in the neuroscience department in 2007, waiting for measurable seizure activity to show up on the eeg equipment while doing everything I could to make myself feel as dreadful as possible, that just didn't work. The problem, we decided, was that my seizures were too deep in the middle of my brain, and not strong enough to produce the electricity to radiate to the outside of my brain where they could be picked up by the eeg equipment.

This time, we're hoping the greater magnitude and misery caused by the seizures recently will produce greater electrical activity that will show up on the eegs. Doctors have seen what certainly seem to be seizures during exams; we are pretty sure they are happening. Also, the dose of seizure meds has been increasing steadily for months, a hint that the seizures themselves are stronger.

Partial seizures kind of feel like there's a cyclone going on in part of my brain, threatening to pull the rest of my brain into a swirling vortex. I have to concentrate very hard on other activities apart from the swirl to keep from being sucked in. This takes a lot of concentration, and energy. I'm sleeping or resting most of the day. I feel like I'm channeling someone else's Southern Belle.

My husband has been a champion in the midst of this. He has bought me favorite foods to tempt me to eat, trying to keep me from turning into a pile of bones. He is uniformly kind and upbeat, despite what has to be a scary time for him. He has truly been a gift from God to me, tailored perfectly for my needs. I deeply appreciate all he is doing and love him all the more.

Sorry if this has been a bore to those who are not living the ordeal. It gives you insight into my own personal struggle. You each have your own. God gives us all the grace it takes to fight our battles, and he's been giving me enough to get through this season. He's giving you the strength, grace, and hope it takes for yours as well. Blessings to you all.

The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; he will be with you. He will not fail or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

Watching God at work

2010-01-27T06:54:00.000-08:00

Our family has been passing through a place of the deep waters mentioned in Isaiah 43. It seemed like all of us were suffering in very different, terribly hard ways.

Some of the suffering is still going on, but we are beginning to see changes for the good, beginning to see God bringing us out at the other side of the river.

Of course God has been with us through the depths. His Spirit has been comforting our aching hearts and wiping our tears, translating prayers that we couldn't even speak in our agony.

I always have hope in our faithful God. I've learned to trust him over the years. He's working now, changing these circumstances, bringing us out of these deep waters and the fire in his time. Praise his Name!

When you go through deep waters and deep trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up--the flames will not consume you.

Isaiah 43:2

Moving on

2010-01-21T08:14:00.000-08:00

Enough of the pity party! Stop looking at what I've lost. That's so 2009. We're in the new decade. Time to move on already. What do I still, always have? Like duh: my powerful and faithful God.

Anyone in the same neighborhood of Genesis (see previous blog post), has to acknowledge that God was involved in this little project of, um, creating the universe out of nothing. Hello! If he can take care of that little number, can he not be trusted to manage our comparatively less complicated lives and our problems?

Yes, our problems are all we have, and they are gigantic to us. Our Lord knows that. I think that's the reason why Jesus mentions God caring about the fall of the humble sparrow, and then he goes on to reassure us that we're far more important than sparrows to our Father.

No matter where you might stand on the details of Creation account, God's power and loving care are still the bottom line. He is the Master Designer and the force holding the universe together and running. As it says elsewhere in the scripture about Jesus (John 1), without him, nothing was made that was made.

Seeing the work of the Father, Son, and Spirt of God in Genesis fills my heart with healing and hope again. I don't know how he will work to guide me to the next place, but I surely know who will guide me. Surely, that is more than enough. To him be the glory!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was made out of what was not visible.

Hebrews 11:1,3

Starting over-- again

2010-01-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

In the last post, I spoke of a lost dream. I was in too much pain to go into detail at that time.

The dream was of finishing my training program on time so I could begin a new career to help contribute to our family finances. Now I've been forced to withdraw for a year due to health problems which can't be resolved while I'm in the midst of a highly demanding academic schedule. I'm forced to rest, think, and trust that God will provide for us in the midst of this storm. What a concept.

Over the past several days, I've been doing the mental rehash: where do I turn now? I'm back at the beginning. Eventually that thought led me to the grand-daddy of beginnings: Genesis. So I'm starting there and working my way through the Bible. Again. Why not? I can always change course--again, if necessary. Genesis is great for fresh starts.

Providentially, I'd already been reading about Noah. You can see that post, if you look back a few. Talk about having to start from zero! He literally got onboard with God's plans--and saved his family by doing so, but then had to learn how to live in a completely different world afterward.

Then came the call of Abram to change his life. He'd been living comfortably with his father (Genesis 11), when God called him to leave everything familiar: country, people, father's household, and go to a land God would show him (12:1). I'll be exploring this more in upcoming posts. [I've written about Abraham and Sarah in the past--when he was passing her off as his sister--so I won't talk about that topic now.]

God is calling me to make changes in my life now. The way it all unfolded was terribly painful, and I'd like to run screaming for the door, but I've learned over a lifetime that his love will carry me through.

Is he calling you to something? Perhaps you should consider the thought.

What do I know for sure? The God who spoke the universe into being is directing my life. I can trust him to manage the details. You can, too.

The Lord said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." So Abram left, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him.

Genesis 12:1-4

New dreams

2010-01-16T20:11:00.000-08:00

I lost a dream this week. Sure, in light of the events of the Haiti crisis, it's a tiny thing. But our God sees the sparrow fall, and he knew my heart broke, as he knows when yours does.

He will bring a new dream, a better one, and along with it wonderful healing, but between dreams comes a time of trusting that the Healer will work. I'm in that moment right now, a poignant time. Soon I'll look back from a beautiful place of rest, seeing what our powerful, majestic God has done, seeing the miracles he's performed. He's worked in my life countless times before, giving me the cushion I can lean against, waiting for him to bring new visions, new reasons to rejoice.

His Name is on the line, with promises to care for his loved ones, his children. He is our Provider, our Creator, and our Hope. He will give me a better dream to carry me to the next place on my journey with him.

Thank you, Lord, that you are bigger than our dreams. Thank you that you are the Author and Finisher of our faith.

This is where we need to be

2010-01-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

Every new year presents us with opportunities for adventure and new beginnings. I know I certainly look forward to a fresh start. Some of us have the year planned out and under control, running as perfectly as a Swiss watch. Those people probably aren't reading this blog. This blog is for the rest of us.

I've always thought Noah must have had mixed feelings after spending a year in the ark. Being in the ark would have meant:

The discomfort of bouncing around in the huge ship in the storm--seasickness, perhaps?
All the animals to feed and clean up after;
The same seven relatives to talk to day after day;
Knowing that every friend, every person on the outside would have died in the flood.

When Noah and his family came out of the ark, they would have been in a completely different place, with no one they knew from before their time in the boat. Even if their surroundings appeared the same, they had been on the soak cycle for 150 days before the water started to recede.

Despite the mixed feelings they may have had about it, the ark was God's provision for Noah and his family, to save them from the great flood. There was virtually no other place where they would have been safe from the rising waters, other than inside that boat, with those animals and each other.

In the midst of our upheavals, God has designed protection and safe places for us to rest from our storms. Even if your storm is going to last a long time, he will bring you relief when you need it, dear one, in the forms you need.

Let this new year and new decade mark the beginning of a new cycle in our lives. Let this new year refresh our vision of God our Father through his Son, Jesus Christ, who paid our ransom with his life. Never forget that he fills us with his comfort and guides us through his Holy Spirit.

May his hope carry you through in your joy and in all your battles. And, at the end of your battle, he will receive you into his glory, like a jewel in his crown. To him be honor and glory forever.

And the water covered the earth for 150 days. But God remembered Noah and all the animals in the boat. He sent the wind to blow across the waters, and the floods began to disappear.

Genesis 7:24; 8:1

After Christmas

2009-12-26T09:14:00.000-08:00

Whether you're feeling relief or a let-down, we're now in that week between Christmas and New Year's Day. I've always thought of it as a kind of magical time, with only seven days of the old year left, and all the time pressures of gifts and Christmas deadlines over. Supposedly it's the highest-ranking week of the year for colds.

So, if you're bundled up under the covers by the fire or blowing your nose and depressed, let's take a look at the future, after we're on the other side of this life.

Are you in a season of testing? Grief? How about financial desperation? There are all kinds of hard times, all kinds of tests, and we are sometimes less than gracious in reacting to them. Yes, we all should be saintly and turn to the Lord instantly, but most of us have moments of failure. I once had a client tell me, "I was so vicious last week, I didn't know if I had PMS or rabies!"

Of course God calls us to live lives of obedience and love. But if, under the pressures and demands of the past few weeks, you've slipped a time or two, I'm simply reminding you that our wonderful God still loves you, and his plans for you are still in place. Even if you snapped at someone you should not have, or felt less than charitable toward the relative who knows exactly the worst thing to say to you over the eggnog.

You may not feel like you're winning any awards for patience in your trials. What a blessing God promises a crown of life to those who love him, not only to the patient (who are going to be blessed). You have a crown awaiting you, my friend. If you have asked Jesus to come into your life and take control of it, you are promised eternity with him.

As painful as whatever you're going through is, it will eventually ease, and your love will be crowned by our faithful, eternal God. He knows your heart and your suffering, and he promises that there will be far more on the other side of it. You have the full attention of the God of the universe for the rest of time.

God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12

God's gift to you

2009-12-22T08:05:00.000-08:00

Right now, you are in the height of the Christmas parties, cookies, and chaos. This present has to be wrapped. You still haven't bought something for that nephew. On and on it goes.

I used to work at my daughters' elementary school. The school secretary's Urgent box was always overflowing with papers. I was there one day at her desk, when another staffer happened to examine one of these documents. This supposedly urgent request had been sitting in the box for six months!

"Oh, yes," she said casually. "If you leave them there long enough, they aren't urgent anymore."

How many of our urgent activities can be let go for now so that we can spend a little time remembering that God gave us a gift of new life in Jesus Christ, which we are supposed to be celebrating at this time of year? Take a few minutes right now, and thank him for giving you a fresh start with each new day that comes.

Take time with your loved ones, and I'm not talking about the TO DO list time. Play a game, get eyeball-to eyeball with them, have tea with an elderly relative who has been alone in the retirement home, do something that will count for eternity, not for the Urgent box, that will be forgotten in six months.

Our God has given abundantly to us. What we have in our power to give back are our selves and our time. Let us be careful how we invest them.

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. The are reborn!

John 1:13a

The gift only you can give

2009-12-13T07:35:00.000-08:00

One Christmas many years ago, when Nelda, my grandmother, was in her 80's, she shared a tender story from her childhood with me. I later found out that my father himself never had never heard this fragment of family history, so I treasure it all the more.

Nelda told me about a Christmas when her parents were truly struggling financially, barely earning enough money to put food on the table for their little family and still have enough left to pay the rent of their apartment. That December, even the most humble Christmas tree would not be a consideration.

However, Mimi, Nelda's mother, had a plan to celebrate the best she could with her children. She pulled out her box of tree ornaments, and she hung them on the back of the sofa, as a substitute for a tree, bringing a bit of festivity into their small apartment. According to Nelda, Mimi never acted as if there were anything unusual about using the couch as a Christmas tree that year, which allowed her children to feel more normal about their circumstances.

I've often thought about Mimi's courage and dignity in the face of adversity and pain. She used the little she had to encourage her young children, rather than bemoaning what she didn't have. Certainly, Nelda never forgot it, telling me about it some 80 years after that Christmas.

If you're having a good day in the midst of this season, use it to lift someone else up. Spend your strength and hope on those who are hurting, who need the gift of your encouragement. You know how stressful Christmas can be for many people, so it won't be hard to find targets of opportunity.

Understand that sometimes that means simply being with someone who needs your presence not your presents. Or be willing to sit and grieve in silence with someone who's spending the first Christmas without that person they loved. If this is your first Christmas without a loved one, you may be the best person to share that pain with another, because you know exactly what it feels like.

And when your account of strength and hope is overdrawn, God promises to raise up someone to provide for you. Ask our loving Lord to send someone to share with you this very day. God bless you, my friend.

Of course, I don't mean you should give so much that you suffer from having too little. I only mean that there should be some equality. Right now you have plenty and can help them. Then at some other time they can share with you when you need it. In this way, everyone's needs will be met.

2 Corinthians 8:13,14

What are you expecting today?

2009-12-06T11:44:00.000-08:00

I have had so many different reactions to the Christmas season, or to other "special" seasons over the course of my life. From happy excitement to dread, and everything in between. Are the Holidays tough for you this year? Have you lost someone dear to you and is that loss making all the reminders of years past especially painful?

If so, you've noticed that the first set of holidays after the loss of someone you love will be the hardest. The first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, etc. The bigger the importance of the memory with that person (good or bad), the harder that day will be, so be pro-active in planning what you will do to keep yourself from being at the mercy of this day and this memory. Enlist your support team, and yes you have one. Call them in. NOW.

For the rest of you:

Years ago, I learned a valuable lesson from a friend whose husband was on the Billy Graham team while their children were young. This means he traveled all the time. She made it her practice never to write the days of his arrivals or departures on her main calendar. Why? When her husband was gone, she didn't want to wish away the precious days alone with their children by longing for his return.

On the other hand, when he was home, she didn't want to color the joy of his presence by overshadowing any day with reminders of how short his time at home would be. She wanted every single day to have its own value, whatever it held.

How about you? The holidays can make you uptight and pressured. For children, these can be days that they wish away, longing for Christmas to come so quickly that they miss the days in between. If you can, help them to learn to value every day. However, you yourself may wish Christmas or a deadline were over, just to relieve the pressure that's on you right now.

Whatever today holds for you, thank our dear Lord for sending his Son to give you peace with him, and bring you the hope of eternity with God. He alone can conquer the holiday blues, tension, shame, and guilt. He alone can lift your heart from the memories and grief that pull you down, bring you permanent relief.

If you are grieving, reach out to one another: ask for comfort, and give comfort. Get outside yourself; not only is that the only way to get perspective on your probliems, it will let God's love flow through you, healing you on the way through.

If you're not grieving at the moment, take a little time to reach out to someone who is. You undoubtedly have someone in your family or circle of friends who needs comfort now. Extend that in the Name of the Lord.

May you be filled with wonderful expectation of God himself and his comfort, no matter what today brings.

All honor to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for it is by his boundless mercy that God has given us the privilege of being born again. Now we live with a wonderful expectation because Jesus Christ rose again from the dead.

I Peter 1:3

Tracking the miracles

2009-11-29T08:11:00.000-08:00

There are large and small miracles happening in your life every day. Especially if you are having a hard time, you need to keep track of them somewhere. And if you have children in your life, a fun project is to use a recipe-type file box or notebook with dividers, to have everybody be on the lookout for God at work in your lives. Otherwise, it's much too easy to overlook, take for granted, and otherwise forget what our generous God is doing for us.

Several years ago, one of my dearest friends was murdered. I was with her daughter, in the house where she had been murdered, as we had only a few days to sort through her files to find important family documents. How surprised I was to find a folder full of articles, letters, cards, and notes she'd saved over the years.

Busy though I was under those terrible circumstances, I was forced to stop and take the time to look at this file, because it became clear that I'd found her stash of treasures. These were mementos of thank you's and love notes, praises for jobs she'd done well. She mentioned this file to me once or twice. She had made a place where she could see God's hand at work in her life for the days when she felt defeated and broken.

A little jewel in this stash was a note I'd written her years before about a loving gift she had given me, a note I'd long forgotten but that she had saved for the days she needed a lift from her Encouragement File. What an honor to be in her Hall of Fame, to know my words about our friendship could lift her spirits!

Why not start your own encouragement file? Why not start keeping your own inventory of what God has done and continues to do in your life? Write or keep reminders of what he has done, to spur your memory, then put it where you can bring it back to your remembrance on your blue days?

If you don't have the energy to file or categorize right now, a shoe box or large envelope will hold index cards, photos, greeting cards, slips of paper that you can save for those rainy days.

If Santa can have a list and check it twice, why can't we have a list of what God has done for us?

O Lord my God, you have done many miracles for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list. If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them.

Psalm 40:5

Uncle Rod and the miracle

2009-11-23T07:33:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, my mother's side of the family gathered for a reunion of sorts. For the first time in years, they gathered for an early Thanksgiving celebration together. It was a time of stories and memories. I wish I could have been there, but one of my cousins called and let me join in the party for a few minutes by phone. It was wonderful.

It brought to mind how his father, my Uncle Rod, was transformed by a conversation in the last months of his life. Here's the story:

My mother first started praying for her beloved brother when she was a young girl, and for the next 30+ years, she kept on praying for him to know the God she loved. She wanted him to have the peace in his heart that she had, the comfort in hard times, but he simply was not interested.

She took him to hear Billy Graham and fantastic preachers. He fell asleep. She gave him Bibles and wonderful, well-written books. They went unopened. She prayed for God to work a miracle in his heart, but outwardly nothing happened. Rod would tell her he wasn't such a bad person--and he really wasn't a bad person. He would say he really didn't need that much forgiveness.

Finally Rod was 46 and facing open heart surgery. My mother knew she wanted him to live forever with the Lord more than she wanted him to survive the surgery, and her prayer was different this time. Instead of pleading with God for Rod's to come to know the Lord, her prayer and her heart was changed. Now, she truly believed that God was going to bring Rod to himself at last. She sensed a voice behind her saying, "It will be done."

Within days, Rod called my father. Rod and his family lived in a remote area on a ranch that was far from a main road. He told my dad, "The strangest thing happened. A man came by the ranch, and I was so glad to see him. I invited him in for a cup of coffee, and he said yes. We sat and talked about many things, and then we started talking about God, and that I needed to believe in him."

My father asked him, "What do you think about what he told you?"

Rod: "I believe it."

Dad: "Do you know what that means? You're a believer."

Rod: "I am?

Dad: "Do you know who the man was?"

Rod: "No, I ran after him, to ask his name, and I couldn't find him. I asked the neighbors, 'Did you see that man?' and they said, 'What man? We didn't see anybody.' I even described him to people who lived farther away down the road, and nobody knew anything about him. No one had seen him come or go."

In the remaining months of his life, Rod was a different person. He talked openly of his new faith and about God's mercy toward him. Whether the man he'd had a conversation with was an angel or the Lord himself, we will have to wait to find out. At the age of 47, while riding his horse, with his cigar in his mouth and his boots on, he suffered a massive heart attack, and went to meet the God he had just become acquainted with.

My mother's prayers have never been the same. After seeing the difference between pleading with the Lord and believing the Lord, she has never gone back.

How about you? Do you have a miracle to believe God for in your life? What's holding you back from trusting him fully?

For you are great, and perform great miracles. You alone are God.

Psalm 86: 10

God's choreography

2009-11-18T07:54:00.000-08:00

It's easy to forget that our Lord holds our times in his hands. We go about our lives, taking for granted God's tender and infinite care. But now and then we get a glimpse of it.

A few days ago, I had such a glimpse, and it will be sufficient to remind me for a long time that the God of the universe tends to the smallest details of my life, just as he does with yours.

I was in a local hospital, preparing to leave after a wonderful outcome to a cardiac catherization. My arteries are pristine. Hooray! This procedure does require that a tube is inserted through the femoral artery in the upper thigh. A collagen plug is inserted into the artery to close it after the procedure, which will be absorbed over time, but which is a little challenging to keep in place at the beginning, until it starts to heal.

This is the one part on the healing process that takes the most care afterwards. You have to lay flat for several hours, which I had done, and you must be careful getting dressed, which I had also done.

My husband and I prepared to leave, eager to get home, and we waited for the nurse to come and release us. Then she came into the room and told us she had a new patient, and would have to stabilize of him, but would be with us as soon as she could.

Of course, we had no choice but to wait. A fair amount of time went by. We watched TV, shuffled around, chatted, and hung out.

Then I coughed. It was a big cough that I wasn't prepared for. I felt this ripping feeling in my groin, and a lot of pain in my leg, and a flooding feeling. Something was VERY wrong.

Quick call to the nurse. She came immediately and knew what to do, applying as much pressure as she could to the femoral artery, and she essentially became a turniquet for me. She kept me from bleeding out with her bare hands--no time to put on gloves. The charge nurse and other staff came in and brought in what looked like a torture device that would apply pressure for the next many hours to let the artery stabilize without throwing any blood clots (an ultrasound the next day verified this).

I had gone from stable to life-threatening in one cough. God, of course, knew that the cough at home or in the car would have meant the nurse would not have been there to save my life.

This was one of the opportunities to see God's choreography of timing. Just because there are countless times we do not have a clue what's going on behind the scenes, I urge us all to treasure his care, his protection, and his grace.

He provides it extravagantly to each of us. Never lose track of it, dear one. He is guiding your steps, especially when it seems unlikely. You never know when he is orchestrating you, protecting from something as mundane as a cough. Trust his timing for those times when you don't know you need protection.

Psalm 3:3 "But you, O Lord, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high."

P.S. So the next time you're stuck in traffic, or delayed in a meeting, think about what might be going on in God's choreography that you may never know. He just could be protecting you, shielding you from unseen dangers. His timing is not ours, and he is never off schedule, even when we think we are being inconvenienced. Praise his name!

Ration #1 from Crisis Survival Rations: God is with me

2009-11-04T14:04:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are wondering what rations are, here is a sample, taken directly from my book Crisis Survival Rations, available from Amazon.com. You'll find a link on the left. I have distributed more than a 1000 copies of this book all over the world since 1996, mostly as gifts to friends or friends of friends who have been suffering. I'd like to see it get into the hands of those ministering to hurting people, because so many have told me how much it gave them hope through their desperate times. Here is the first of the 52 in the book:

Now Jacob...went to a certain place and stayed there all night, because the sun had set. And he took one of the stones of that place and put it at his head, and he lay down in that place to sleep. Then he dreamed, and behold a ladder was set up on the earth and its top reached to heaven...And behold the Lord stood above it...Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it." And he was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place!"

Genesis 28:10-13,16,17

That place was awesome, not because it offered any comfort or beauty, since Jacob had only a rock for a pillow. It was awesome because God was there. God is here, with me in my place of suffering, persecution, and grief. He will allow me to stay here exactly as long as I need to be here. The pain here makes me want to rush away as quickly as my feet will carry me, but He is here, in this place. Maybe, if I can remember that, I can stay long enough to grow, or heal, or learn what I need to be His person in that other place where I live in the easier times.

Almighty God, thank you that you never leave me on my own to endure suffering. You are here, even when I do not know it. You are the same God, who was with Jacob, and every other believer before or since. You have not changed, and you do not change now. Thank you for your presence. Help me not to miss anything you want to teach me today while I am here.

The power of presence

2009-11-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

A week after my daughter's 13th birthday, I received the call no parent ever wants to receive: "Your daughter has a mass in her chest," the doctor said. We had to make an appointment for the following day with a pediatric oncologist.

The first fifty times you have the say the words, my daughter has a mass in her chest, you have to adjust to hearing your voice crack, and feeling a dull silence on the other side of the conversation. Telling Marianne and her sisters without terrifying them any more than necessary was one more challenge to face in a few hours.

That afternoon, after calling the oncologist, I also called my friend Vicki. Within minutes, Vicki was at my house, and for the next two hours, she sat with me. Here I was in one of the lowest moments of my life, not knowing what was ahead for my child; how deeply powerful it was to have my friend's presence with me, simply being with me in her calm, loving way. She didn't need to say anything. She was God with skin on, in that room with me.

She cried with me, she held me in her arms, and she knew that sometimes pain can best be shared without platitudes or verses. Sometimes just sitting with someone is the most healing gift a person can give.

God used Vicki in my life that day to come alongside me in my suffering, and let me know I was not alone. He would always provide comfort. He always has.

Many people hold back from reaching out to another person in pain because they don't know what to say or do. If they can tolerate just being in the same room with the pain, they may have the best gift to give with the eloquence of their presence, and no words at all.

Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. And no one said a word, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.

Job 2:13

P.S. The link to Marianne's blog is on the left: The Wall Bloggers. The mass was on her thymus, which was biopsied extensively several months later in a major surgery that was a terrible ordeal for Marianne. The mass turned out to be benign, praise God, but there were changes set into motion from it that left us all different. I'll leave her to tell her own stories. She is now a wife and mother, and a wonderful woman of God. I'm honored to be her mother.

In the midst of the storm

2009-10-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

Here in Colorado we are in the middle of an extended storm. Actually, multiple storms have collided with each other from different directions, and they've hit us one upon another. The roads are so dangerous to drive on that schools and businesses are closed for all but the most essential of services.

Sounds a lot like the way the storms of life hit us, doesn't it? If they could only come one at a time, we could manage them so much more easily. But they tend to pile up in the most inconvenient of ways, and they get stalled over our hearts and lives.

While snow storms bring misery and danger to those who are driving on icy roads, or dealing with power failures, they also bring joy to skiers, or to the children who have a day off with sledding and snowman-building. The very same snow can bring an avalanche to those trapped in it, as well as life-giving water to those who will benefit from the rivers carrying down the melted snow in the springtime.

We know our loving God can and will use the our struggles for good when we are suffering. Knowing this does make our pain more bearable. The same God who protected the disciples in the midst of their storm-tossed lake with Jesus will protect us in the midst of our own tempests.

And please, while you're suffering, don't ever try to discount your crisis because you've compared it to someone else's. Jesus told us not to compare ourselves to others for a reason. Your life is the only one God is interested in when he's dealing with you.

As a therapist friend once said, "How many shotgun blasts does it take to count? Isn't one enough?" If you heard your problems described to you by someone else, you'd have compassion on yourself. Your heavenly Father certainly does, so get into his perspective, would you please?

Our God offers you a place to hide in his loving shelter when you need to, and you are no coward if you take his offer of protection and mercy when you need it. Take it now, until your storm is past.

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until this violent storm is past.

Psalm 57:1

Need an attitude adjustment?

2009-10-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38,39

Everyone I talk to these days feels bombarded and oppressed in some way. Of course, the economy is affecting all of us. Add to that the health problems, family problems, and any other normal stresses of life, and we end up traveling from stress to distress before we know what hit us.

I remember a character on an old TV show saying, "When everybody's out to get you, paranoid's the way to think!"

Sometimes it does feel like everything is going wrong, and it is easy to give in to our weaknesses, to let our depressed, self-pitying, or frustrated sides crawl on in and take over for awhile.

The insidious nature of Satan is that this kind of attack is less easy to spot than if a demonic battalion showed up on our doorstep, isn't it? You would have the sense to call out for the help of God immediately if you saw overt Satanic attack, wouldn't you? But if you are merely crabby to your spouse or kids, or down in the dumps, you don't recognize it until you have been out of commission for the Lord for a day or a week. The result is the same as if you had been trying to fight a huge army on your own, though.

However, when it feels like the forces of hell--or depression--are right in the room with you, you are still under the protection of God's love. Of course, God never left you, and you do know it when you come to your senses.

Face it, we all are a bunch of failures for the Lord. Why do you think the above verses were written? Our failures cannot separate us from the love of God. Hallelujah! We will get depressed, angry, self-centered, and all sorts of not very pretty emotions that God knows about. We don't like our fellow believers to see them, but God does.

So, rejoice that his forgiving, unconditional love also fills your heart with comfort and protects you in your distress. Let it bring you relief from your burdens, whatever the cause of them.

Never forget that you are a soldier in God's army, and he is looking to you to stand tall and fight your position. You cannot do anything for him when you are battered and defeated by the enemy.

Tradition has it that Martin Luther was awakened one night with Satan standing at the foot of his bed, menacingly.

"Oh, it's only you," Luther said, as he rolled over and went back to sleep. Martin Luther was secure of who he was as a child of the King, and who Satan was: defeated at the cross, unable to harm him.

No power of Satan or weakness in yourself can change God's love for you. Jesus gave up his own life to demonstrate that love, so take a moment to let that love wash over all the aching places in your heart, giving you fresh hope. May you feel that love this very day in ways you never thought possible.

Remember that nothing can separate you from that love. Rejoice in it, take hope in it, and be courageous in Godly confidence of that love, everywhere you go.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can keep God's love away.

Romans 8:38

Auntie Grace and the Robber

2009-10-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

So many of you have told me how much you enjoyed the remembrance about my grandfather, Clifford Clinton, that I've decided to give you another story from the family tales.

This one is about Clifford's youngest sister, Auntie Grace, who was in her fifties at the time this story took place. She awoke one night, to find a strange man standing over her bed with a knife to her throat.

"I want your money," he said gruffly.

"Honey, I don't have any money, but I bet you're hungry, so I'll fix you some pancakes." Yes, I know there was a lady in Atlanta in recent years who made pancakes for an escaped prisoner, but Auntie Grace did it in the 1960's.

She got herself out of bed, took the startled man into the kitchen, and went about making him pancakes, all the while telling him about how much God loved him, and how Jesus had died for him. He was either so shocked she was not afraid of him--or actually hungry--that he went ahead and ate the pancakes. She bid him good-bye and he left without any money.

Over the years, she told her friends and relatives about how she had fixed pancakes for the robber, and how she never knew what became of him. What a surprise when a story appeared in Reader's Digest about a man whose life had been turned around when a humble woman he was trying to rob had made him pancakes instead! He said he had no way to thank her for sharing the Lord with him.

The rest of the story is that Auntie Grace had two adult men who rented rooms from her, also in the house that night. If she had called out to them, they might have helped her fight off the robber, had she chosen to use human strength to fight him. Instead, she took her own inventory and turned to God for help in her childlike faith.

Obviously, there are times when God wants us to use the human strength and resources that are available to defend ourselves, but for that night, God used Grace's compassion and pancakes.

What are your resources? Recognize what God has given you to use today.

"How much food do you have?" he asked. "Go and find out."

Mark 6:38

When you need perspective

2009-10-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

Just because you aren't in jail for your faith, you may not think your suffering has much meaning in the grand scheme. When we're suffering, our focus gets pretty narrow, and perspective goes out the window. No matter what the cause of your suffering is, other people are watching how you handle your daily struggles.

My mother has endured at least eight hip replacement and/or restorative surgeries on one of her hips, due to the incompetence and cruelty of a physical therapist who ordered her to exert too much pressure on that fragile hip immediately after the original operation was performed. The exertion caused her hip and joint to break, which could never be completly returned to the condition God had designed for a hip. Subsequent repairs and replacement surgeries have gone wrong, become infected, become dislocated, and have generally been agony for her.

I truly doubt she would label this suffering in the name of Christ, and yet throughout it she has been a faithful prayer warrior for the Lord to her family, for the country, and for the church in its many extensions around the world. She has served as an ambassador and inspiration to her doctors and hospital staff where she has stayed.

Yet, when Satan wants to attack her, he makes her feel that she is not able to do enough for the Lord, because of the limitations required of her because of this same hip.

I stand in awe of my mother and the example of prayer warrior. She reminds me of the spiritual battle described in Ephesians 6:12,13: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." She may not run any marathons, but she stands her ground and fights in the spirit with her prayers.

To you, my dear mother, and to you, my dear reader:

You have no idea how many people are going to be inspired by your strength, or what God does for you during your hard times. You are representing Christ through your reactions, your patience, and your life, so look for the comfort God promises to you. Ask him to open your eyes to see his comfort being showered on you as you suffer for him. And may he open your eyes to see his face as he fills you with his grace.

You can be sure that the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.

2 Corinthians 1:5

When you think there is no plan

2009-10-10T14:48:00.000-07:00

This past week was a tough one, and I let myself fall into the slime far more than was fun. How wonderful to feel God's restoration every time I remembered to turn back to his word, or heard encouragement from a friend.

You may be looking at chaos in your own life, and you may not see a plan at work right now--or at least not one you like. Our hearts long to make sense out of the disorder in our lives, for life to be fair and right. In spite of everything, life is frequently messy and unfair, no matter how hard we try to control it.

But our God does have a plan, and no matter how things look at the moment, this is a part of the larger picture.

In 1931, my grandfather, Clifford Clinton, had a wife and three young children. He had just been fired from his own father's business by two men who should have had no right to fire him. Clifford had a vision, however. He felt called to run a cafeteria based on the principles of the Golden Rule. He also believed he could honor God by feeding people in need and running an honest business.

Clifford spent many years of his childhood seeing starvation in China, in the beginning of the twentieth century, and he was never the same. He resolved to fight it any way he could, including through his business. But here he was, in the height of the Depression, surrounded by hungry and unemployed people.

His policy was never to turn away a customer who could not pay for a meal. He trusted that God would somehow provide for him and his employees.

My grandfather later wrote letters, remembering those hard times, which our family has kept. As I read them, he talked about turning to God for direction, and seeing God's hand at work to bring in supplies at reduced cost, and miraculous provisions to keep his business running. One of his early customers was a bankruptcy judge who told him he'd expected to see him within the first year!

While Clifford did not make any cash profit in his early years, he was able to keep his doors open, pay his employees, and provide four million meals for people who could not pay.

Remember Who holds your future, and Who guides your plan, no matter how today looks.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

Stop the gift that keeps giving

2009-10-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

I had a phone call a few weeks ago from a good friend. The call reminded me of a powerful conversation we had maybe five or six years ago that might encourage someone else, so I'll share the essence of it here.

Guilt was ransacking her life. She had been raised in a family that used guilt as a motivator. Lots of families do this, because it works so well. Parents use it because their parents used it on them. The problem is, Guilt is the Gift that Keeps on Giving. It can last a lifetime, and not for good. As a family therapist, I've seen lots of guilt's effects through the years.

My friend was making terrible choices about her friends, her job, and how she was letting people treat her in general, all because she thought she needed to be punished for all of the wrong things she decided she had done in her life. She kept asking God for forgiveness, but she never felt forgiven.

I asked her, "Do you believe Jesus died for you?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"OK," I said. "Do you believe his death was enough to get you forgiveness?"

"Well, sure, but...I just don't feel it." At least she was honest.

"So," I said,"you're saying that your standards are higher than God's standards?" I was praying for real guidance to help her get free of this terrible burden. She's very smart--so logic seemed like a starting point to get past her emotions.

"Well of course not," she said. "I know it's just a feeling. But I still feel guilty, and it won't go away."

God gave me an idea. "Okay, how about if you stop asking him to forgive you, and start thanking him for the forgiveness you already have? Every time you feel guilty, thank him until you start to believe what he has done for you." In spiritual warfare, praise and thanksgiving are powerful weapons against the evil one. Why not use them here, with false, self-induced guilt?

She agreed to try it. I didn't see her until about a month later. When I did, her face was transformed, she was glowing with a freedom she had never shown before. She told me her life was turned around by the reality of what Christ had done for her. She now lived it daily when guilt tried to nip at her heels.

And for more of the story: my friend made many good, tough, longterm decisions. She's come a very long way in her journey with God, and I've had the honor to watch from the sidelines as he works in her life. As she has in mine.

How about you? Are you carrying guilt from family shame? Are you trying to live up to standards that are higher than God's? Realize false guilt for what it is, and start thanking God for the forgiveness he has already given you through Jesus' death on the cross. It is enough.

Thank you, Lord, for providing for me though your Son. Because you are worthy, you have made me worthy. Praise your Name!

God presented Jesus as a sacrifice of atonement through faith in his blood.

Romans 3:25

Don't give up

2009-10-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

Last week, my program gave us four quizzes, and next week brings two midterms and another quiz. These are stressful times. A new career depends on passing these classes. Pressure.

You have pressures in your life, just as large for you as mine are to me. I recently re-read something I wrote several years ago that helps put the quizzes into perspective. Skip to the last paragraph if you don't have the time to read it all.

God rescued me from the grave, and now my life is filled with light. Job 33:28

I have been there. I know what the darkness of despair feels like, so when I talk about being filled with the light of God, I'm not a chirpy Pollyanna who never had a problem. Hang on, dear one, because God has a plan for you, and the plan is for good.

God reached into the grave and pulled me out, more than once. Perhaps the most dramatic was when I drove a babysitter home late one night. On the way back from walking her to the front door, a large man jumped out of the darkness and held a knife to my throat, trapping me in the wedge of my open car door. I could feel the metal blade. I looked into his eyes, and they were filled with hate. He said something. Years later, the exact words came echoing back in my ears. The essence was that he had caught me, and he could do whatever he wanted to me.

I knew there was no one on earth who could help me, and it was completely instinct in me that called out loud, "Jesus."

In a second, the man's face changed: his eyes became confused, as if I'd struck him in the head. He looked into my car, grabbed my purse, and ran off. This was a time before cell phones, so I ran up into the babysitter's apartment and called the police. They wouldn't even take an incident report, because the crime rate in that area was so high, and I couldn't identify the man.

My rational mind knew that he was not in my car, but I couldn't think straight. All the way home I was certain that somehow he was still in the car, or following me. Not until I was in my own house did the nightmare remotely seem over.

Yes, the Lord delivered me that night, and I still praise him for the deliverance. But God allowed me to have enough of that horror to know what it is to drive home alone in the station wagon, knowing that my robber now had my wallet and he knew where my family--my little daughters--lived.

I would still awaken in the middle of other nights in a cold sweat, re-living the terror of being absolutely without power in the presence of another person who wanted to do me harm. It took a long time to recover, and I still over-react if I'm startled (my husband has learned I don't mean to gasp if I don't hear him coming up from behind me--some things are burned too deeply into PTSD brains). Because of that experience, I was able to work for 20 years in the field of Post-Traumatic Stress and Sexual Trauma recovery. God was able to take my experience and multiply it to help others. 2 Corinthians 1:4"Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

And I can tell you truly that the light is much more dazzling after you have been without it; hope is the sweetest when you thought you'd never taste it again. There were times when I didn't think I could keep on going, days of defeat and interrupted nights.

I pray God will send you a glimmer of the good to come this very day. In the meantime, hold on until there are more of them. They will come. God has promised them, and he can be trusted.

Listening in when God speaks

2009-09-27T11:59:00.000-07:00

In the last blog posting, I spoke about a wonderful elder statesman of God who changed my life at a teachable moment in my twenties. Over the years, I know I've worried much less than otherwise, as I remembered the wise words he shared from his lifetime of seeing God rescue him from every disaster he worried about--as well as the ones he didn't know were coming.

When I was writing, I'd been feeling wrung out for weeks, out of breath at the slightest exertion, nearly done in by going up and down the stairs, having pain in my chest (not ever a good sign), and trying to carry the full school load. I finally decided it would be good to stop wondering what was making me feel so lousy and get help, only to find out I had both lungs riddled with bronchitis, which I probably had been battling for the last month.

Isn't that what we do with the Lord? We drag along on our own, trying to fight our own battles, getting more and more beaten down, when there is someone who would be glad to help us, if we would just reach out for help? As soon as I started antibiotics, sleep, breathing treatments with the bronchodilators, the wheezing started getting better, and I started feeling less wrung out, able to get back to the schedule, the battle.

That's when I started getting attacked spiritually. The week before, during a bunch of tests at school, I knew I was struggling with my memory issues, and I asked friends and relatives for prayer to hold me up in a way that would glorify God. God clearly helped by causing me to study the material that was going to be tested, and to retain it--a real gift, and even humorous in one case: when everyone else studied the formulas (which I couldn't begin to remember that week), the teacher asked about historical information, which is what I had focused on. For once, I had the highest score in the class.

As I was saying, this past week, I moved in with fear and let him walk all over me. I had a major crisis of confidence. It didn't help that I was vulnerable from illness. That's just an excuse. I realize as I write this that a crisis of confidence means that my confidence was in me. As long it had rested squarely in God I was fine.

Do you ever do that?

When I let it wander over to myself is when I ran into trouble. My eyes were off the One who is my Rock and my Redeemer. He alone can be my strength. Mine comes and goes whimsically. His strength is as sure as the present tense of I AM.

You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this peril.

Psalm 31:3

I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from my fears.

Psalm 34:6

Deliverance from our fears

2009-09-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Being anxious can become a bad habit. Soon, it's like being stuck with a nasty roommate who owns the apartment. I once heard a wise old man talk about what God had taught him about worry and fears.

"Over the years," he said, "I've realized that the things I spent the most time worrying about hardly ever happened. The real catastrophes came without any warning at all. Looking back at the last 85 years, God gave me the strength to survive even the worst of them."

Then he said something profound. "What I have decided, at 85, is when I catch myself worrying about something, I say, 'Praise God!' Because it probably won't ever happen. And if it does happen, I've learned that God will carry me through it, as he has all those times before."

God had, indeed, set this dear old warrior free from all his fears.

How about you? Can you take this man's example to heart, and catch yourself when you start to worry next time--shift gears, start to praise God, and see what unfolds?

Test it for yourself: try keeping notes in your calendar about when you were worried or anxious about something, then gave praise to God. Check back in a month and see what actually transpired. You'll have a lot of disasters that were not worth fretting over, or raising your blood pressure. You'll be able to thank the Lord for delivering you from all kinds of ways that things were not as bad as you thought they would be.

Don't wait till you are 85 to be set free from your fears. Who wants that kind of roommate?

I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from all my fears.

Psalm. 34:6

Guidance and deliverance, even on tough days

2009-09-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of the peril.

Psalm 31:3

Why would you need a fortress on those days when everything goes wrong? Well I certainly know that when family conflicts or money problems start squeezing on me, I sure feel unguarded and vulnerable. Don't you?

Doesn't that bubble of false security that lies to you, saying nothing bad could ever happen to you get stripped away? When it does, you're left with the truth: you're at the mercy of all the evils this world can throw at you. When you are under your own protection, that's the reality. Some days, doesn't it feel as if anything terrible could happen, and probably will?

While it's not going to help any of us to run away from our problems permanently, God does give himself to us as a hiding place when we need one, offering protection from the world's onslaughts, when we just cannot take them on our own.

During my divorce, when my life was crashing around my daughters and me, I made small, nurturing rituals for myself during the day to break up the intensity of the stress. A morning prayer and Bible reading became a wonderful daily routine that spoke to my desperate heart like telephone calls from the most loving friend. I re-read passages before bedtime as a way of putting promises into my mind before I spent the night trying to get whatever sleep I could.

I tell you, I ran to that fortress and cherished every second I could be there in God's presence.

You may not see the larger forces at work in the world or your life right now, but our mighty God does. Look today for ways that he is leading you out of your dark places in a way that will bring glory to himself. Keep looking for his promised deliverance, and it will give your hope as you are in the midst of your struggles.

In the mean time, focus your eyes on the One who can deliver you, and remember he is a Fortress and the Rock of Ages to hide behind when you need to run for cover. He will never fail you.

You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this peril.

Psalm 31:3